Saturday, February 27, 2016


I tuned into Hannity last night only because he was to spend the entire hour in a town hall with Ted Cruz.

If you've read any of my writings this election season, you know that I, and now many others, have pointed out Hannity's shameless slobbering love affair/bias for Donald Trump. To Hannity's credit, he sat there on a stool, not three feet from Cruz while the Texas Senator systematically dismantled Trump on every issue.

Cruz is no fool. If so many of us see Hannity for the blatant advocate of Trump that he is, Cruz sees it too. And there were times in the town hall when Hannity tried to steer Cruz off Trump's ass and Cruz wasn't having any of it, talking directly over Hannity.

It was delicious, despite Cruz' poor performance in the Q&A at the end.

This morning I ran across another conservative blog -- The Resurgent. It is something started by Eric Erickson of RedState. Erickson's basically a bit of a tool. Before she lost my support, Sarah Palin was a frequent target of Erickson -- who memorably posted an obvious photoshop of Palin with porn-star sized cleavage spilling out of a low-cut top, sitting on Santa's lap as the header for an article about her. When called on it, he made a feeble attempt at feigning ignorance of the obvious fake photo and then made the so what? argument as though conservatives haven't been railing for years at the nasty sexist insults aimed at conservative women.

But I think he has a good point in a recent article at this new blog. His point, perhaps self-serving on the part of those of us who don't want Trump as the Republican nominee, is that we need to make very public our position on the supposed inevitable nominee. And that is that we won't support him. In any way.

The RNC has called my home many times over the last weeks, and I have told their agent that I will not donate one penny to the RNC if they continue to remain idle as Trump destroys the party.

Erickson's article is very short, I'll excerpt a bit here about his reasoning for taking a stand now:
"He[Trump] is an authoritarian blending nationalist and tribal impulses, which historically has never worked out well for the nation that goes in that direction or the people in that nation.

It is absolutely important to disclose that we will not support Trump in the general election now. It shows that we are not sore losers whose nominee preference did not win, but rather are stating that if Trump does get the nomination, we will not support him and are making our declaration with enough time to stop him if his supporters listen to reason.

Explicitly stating our opposition, before he secures the nomination, will not stop people from saying we cost him the nomination. But in the historic record it will be clear we saw the rise of an authoritarian jackass, rejected him, and gave people ample time to heed the warnings before jumping off the cliff.

If Trump supporters choose to proceed, history will show what they will never concede — his defeat is on them, not us. With the rise of an authoritarian menace to our republic, it is important to go on record now, while he can be stopped, that we will play no part in his rise."

As I said, on one level it is a bit self-serving, a kind of don't blame me, I didn't vote for him position, one that I have mocked in the past. But where I have, genuinely I believe, pointed out that that position was borne of juvenile dislike of a particular candidate, this position is more firmly rooted in obvious fact -- Donald Trump is not a conservative. He never was. He won't win a general election. And should he by some miracle win the White House, he would be destructive beyond belief to conservative causes and the country in general.

I cannot vote for him. I already sent in my absentee ballot and I did not choose Trump. And I won't in the general if it comes to that. I won't entirely disdain from voting. There are important senate races and other things to be addressed. But as this post's title says --


Friday, February 26, 2016

If I'm right so often, why can't I win the lottery?

News broke today that New Jersey Governor and former Presidential candidate Chris Christie has endorsed Donald Trump for President.

What's that you say? Why yes, I did mention that I would not be surprised at all if this occurred right here.

Allow me to quote myself like the fancy bloggers do:
In the conspiracy theory department -- I see where Christie had a long talk with Trump prior to leaving NH. Trump's got money tied up in NJ, Christie can't run for Governor again . . . would I be surprised if Christie suddenly started stumping for Trump? That Christie's name suddenly started turning up in a supposed Trump administration? VP? Attorney General?

There's already been some quiet whispers about Trump buying political support -- I'm looking at you Sarah, so the notion that there was some quid-pro-quo between Trump and Christie to get the more electable Rubio out of the way is not all that far-fetched to me.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that one of Ann Coulter's former can't miss Presidential prospects is endorsing the current one. Once a loser, always a loser.


I also see where Mike Huckabee's daughter is accepting a position in Trump's campaign organization. Trump also had a long meet with Huck as he was leaving the race. Trump is making a big deal of how he isn't buying a lot of ads, but he's certainly buying up supporters. I'm disappointed in Huck though. I thought he was a more principled man than this.

Like with my comments about FOX news personalities, win or lose in November, we're all getting a good look at folks on the conservative side of the political arena. Pay attention people. Get a good look and remember next time any of these shameless opportunists try to tell you how honest or sincere they are. They aren't. They're money grubbing shallow posers. Not an ounce of honor among them. Learn from our mistakes so we don't repeat them in the future.

Hey, it's not just me pointing out Christie's political whore-ing himself out. Check out this little tidbit from Meg Whitman, CEO of Hewlett-Packard and the campaign finance co-chair of Christie's suspended Presidential run:
"Chris Christie's endorsement of Donald Trump is an astonishing display of political opportunism. Donald Trump is unfit to be President. He is a dishonest demagogue who plays to our worst fears. Trump would take America on a dangerous journey. Christie knows all that and indicated as much many times publicly. The Governor is mistaken if he believes he can now count on my support, and I call on Christie's donors and supporters to reject the Governor and Donald Trump outright. I believe they will. For some of us, principle and country still matter."
Yeah, that just about says it all.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The tragedy of our times

Yes, that's right . . . Bruce Jenner can't find a boyfriend.


After putting the television watching world through the hell of seeing Jenner transform himself from a once handsome gold-medal winning athlete into a hideously unattractive awkward looking tranny, season two of his torturous show was supposed to focus on Jenner and the new love of his life as they navigate the waters of . . . okay, I just threw up in my mouth a little there . . . sorry.

Anyway, Jenner's so god-awful ugly as a woman that he can't find a boyfriend. I'll admit to being wrong about him wanting to go the full ghey here, I had assumed he was going to do the transgendered lesbian thing. But no, he wants an actual boyfriend. I'm not sure, but I don't think he's gone through the full gender reassignment surgeries, so I think he still has his boy parts. So that means he's not going to get a straight boyfriend, he's gonna have to get a gay boyfriend.

And there's the rub. 'Cause as a tranny, Jenner's just fugly. I mean you'd need the Gaussian blur dialed up to 10 and about a dozen absinthe shots to make him look even remotely attractive to anyone, and I think most gay guys want another guy, right? Not a guy pretending to be a woman. Isn't that defeating the whole purpose of being gay? This stuff really confuses me on a lot of levels. I'll admit that.

So apparently, the producers (sick f*cks that they are) of Jenner's reality (and I use that term very loosely) show are planning on paying someone to be Brucie's boyfriend so they can get on with season two.

And I thought Trump was making the Republican Primaries a nightmare!

Okay, for some mind bleach here to get the images of Jenner and whatever out of your head, here's real biological woman Joanna Krupa topless on a yacht:

joanna krupa topless on a yacht
joanna krupa topless on a yacht
joanna krupa topless on a yacht
joanna krupa topless on a yacht
joanna krupa topless on a yacht
joanna krupa topless on a yacht

Monday, February 22, 2016

Who wears short shorts?

These gals wear short shorts.

My default first choice is always going to be my Duffster, even if this isn't her best look. And on a side note -- I'd like to really thank Miley (not) for bringing back these high-waisted shorts again. *sigh*

hilary duff cut-off shorts
hilary duff cut-off shorts

On the set of a Carl's Jr. commercial, Hayden Panettiere is looking like a Duffster mini me with those solid thighs. But points off for the cigarette boo hiss

hayden panettiere cut-off shorts
hayden panettiere booty in cut-off shorts

Shockingly, my winner here is Kristen Stewart who's looking pretty hot in some really short shorts, not the high-waisted type and showing off her cute booty for a change. Points off for the greasy hair, but she still gets the win today.

Kristen stewart cut-off shorts
Kristen stewart booty in cut-off shorts

How long have I been saying this?

welcome to the party, pal

Over at HotAir (no, I'm not going to link them, screw those idiots!), Ed Morrissey did a post about Newt Gingrich going on FOX and Friends this morning and telling the hosts that they created Trump by having him on almost daily and giving him a free platform to create himself in the minds of conservative voters.

Wow! It's only taken all these months for someone as smart and savvy as Gingrich to speak this truth publicly. Of course, now that Newt has spoken, Ed's all in too. Okay, not exactly all in, he doesn't have the juevos to fully commit to slagging on FOX. But I have to give him credit for name checking the same people I've been calling out from way back -- Greta, Hannity, Bolling, Tantaros, etc.

I did a post last election cycle that I titled something like Conservative awareness not unlike a glacier. My point being that our supposedly enlightened commentators and pundits take an excruciatingly long time to come to some common sense conclusions.

Of course, just like the cowardly Allahpundit, Ed's basically throwing in the towel suggesting that no amount of counter-attack ads can stop the Trump juggernaut now, pointing out that Trump gets hours of free air time daily on every network, so he can respond instantly to every attack without much effort.

What a pussy. I know now why he's a blogger instead of working in the private sector. What employer would want a guy who quits every time he bumps up against an obstacle?

But credit where credit's due . . . people are slowly starting to realize that even the conservative media can be dangerous to our cause. Maybe it's time to shake that up as well.

And right on cue . . . here's Hannity making an in-kind political donation to his boy Donald Trump via a one hour special town hall meeting on the eve of the Nevada caucus. I'm sure there will be some softball questions from Trump's lapdog Hannity in this supposedly unbiased presentation.

What a tool!

Btw, did you see the open mic stuff they caught on Morning Joe where the hosts were tipping Trump off on what they were going to cover in the interview and getting his okay and other instructions from him first?


Sunday, February 21, 2016

Sunday lolz

About the South Carolina Primary results

32.5% ?!

I've got to tell you, I'm amazed. In a state where former President George Bush enjoys a 80+% approval rating, Donald Trump ran a scorched earth campaign blasting Bush and falling just short of calling the former President a war criminal. And he still got over 32% of the vote. I don't get that.

I understand the dissatisfaction index of Republican, and to some extent Democrat, voters. But if you want an outsider, there are two candidates in Rubio and Cruz who are Tea Party stalwarts -- the epitome of grass roots outsider candidates. And if you are really looking for an elbows out, thumb in the eye, tell it like it is candidate who actually has some political/constitutional background, then Ted Cruz should be your guy. What are you people thinking?

Setting aside the ledger full of f*ck ups, business-wise, that are in Trump's resume, he isn't going to be a CEO in the White House. He can't just come in and fire people. He would be constrained by the Constitution and the political checks and balances built into our government by the framers/founders. So what exactly do you think he's going to do when he gets there? Shout? Cuss? Make a vulgar fool of himself? What?

And how, exactly, do you think he's going to have the knowledge to appoint Cabinet positions? Who are his advisors? Do you know? Has he said? He's a life-long progressive democrat in terms of politics. Where do you think he's going to draw his coterie of advisors from? I guarantee it won't be from conservative think tanks? Have you heard him quote or refer to any of the respected conservative voices on any policy issues?

This isn't middle school class president we're voting for here people, this is the leader of the most powerful nation on the planet. This isn't the time for a protest vote. The field has winnowed down now. Sadly there were some good men (and a good woman) tossed aside in the process. But it's time to get serious. This self-aggrandizing ass-clown cannot be the Republican nominee.

Trump supporters love to point to the polls. I'll say it again -- dude, look at the polls! Trump loses to everyone the Dems throw up there. And if you're counting on Hillary being indicted as your savior, you're as ignorant as your prospective hero. Replacing Hillary with Biden or Warren would unite the Dems and draw in independents and conservatives put off by Trump's childish antics and ignorant world view.

It would be a landslide victory for the Dems and a disaster as the new Democratic President would be in a position to stock the Supreme Court with two to three progressive liberal thinkers, forever changing the face (for the worse) of this country.

And on the Republican side -- Hey Reince . . . do your f*cking job and get Kasich and Carson out of the race. You take their combined 22.6% (adding Jeb's in as well) and add it to either Rubio or Cruz and we've got a decent candidate on our side. Again, the Trump supporters love to crow about the polls, we'll despite their tsk-ing, 2/3's of Republican voters want someone other than Donald Trump as the nominee. Get the chaff out of the race, and we'll see how the electorate actually looks.

And that's your job here Reince. This is why you're head of the RNC. Kasich and Carson don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting the nomination, so why are they still in the race? Back in the 2008 Primaries, Mike Huckabee hung around until the end because he didn't believe in simply anointing John McCain as the nominee. He saw that most voters viewed McCain as a RINO, so he hung around to give voters a protest voice.

That isn't the case now. Trump is the protest voice. Cruz and Rubio are the candidates who can actually do the job they're applying for. And in Rubio's case, can actually win the job, again, according to the polling.

So stop watching anyone on FOX except Brett and Megyn and get your heads straight voters. You're on a path to f*ck up a third straight Presidential election. We're not going to get too many more mulligans. Get it right this time.

Okay, I just can't let this pass -- The Dems had their caucus in Nevada, which Hillary won by 5%, and one precinct, with 30 caucus goers (nice turnout, lolz!) ended in a tie. They broke the tie with . . . wait for it . . . a deck of cards.


Yes, that's right. The party of SCIENCE, that previously had settled caucus ties with coin flips, this time shuffled an fresh deck of cards (there for just such an emergency, imagine) six times and each side drew a card. Hillary's Ace beat Bernie's 6 and so the delegate went to the Hillster.

Could politics in this country be any more of a mockery this year?

And for something a tad more soothing to the psyche, here's Caroline Wozniacki, Lindsey Vonn and Rhonda Rousey in bodypaint from the recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition:

caroline wozniacki in bodypaint from SI swimsuit issue
Lindsey vonn in bodypaint from SI swimsuit issue
Rhonda rousey in bodypaint from SI swimsuit issue

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Rule 5 Sunday -- Lucy Collett

lucy collett topless

This week's Rule 5 beauty is the Reubenesque redhead Lucy Collett. Lucy's always been a full-figured girl (see image #1) but recently she seems to have put on a bit more weight. I don't know whether it's just one of those things, or she had a child, or perhaps she's getting in on this whole plus-sized model craze. But whatever it is, she's a whole lot of woman here and very, very attractive. Enjoy her cuddly goodness.

*click on the thumbnails for full-sized images*

lucy collett toplesslucy collett toplesslucy collett topless lucy collett toplesslucy collett toplesslucy collett topless lucy collett toplesslucy collett toplesslucy collett topless

Rule 5 Sunday suggested by this.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

AnnaLynne McCord is really skinny

annalynne mccord skinny

Goodness! She's really thin. Some people naturally are, and she's always been that way it seems, but sometimes it's striking to see how slender some folks are.

annalynne mccord skinny
annalynne mccord skinny

Cute little booty, tho :-)

Hey Ann Coulter . . . Donald Trump = Christine O'Donnell

ann coulter is an idiot

As Ann Coulter continues her never-ending book selling tour, breathlessly supporting the disaster that is Donald Trump for President, I realized an interesting similarity in recent political events -- Donald Trump is 2016's version of Christine O'Donnell.

If you've listened to or read any of Ann's frequent assaults on the Tea Party, she never hesitates to bring up the specter of Christine O'Donnell's ill-fated run at the U.S. Senate.

With Tea Party backing, O'Donnell defeated mainstream Republican Mike Castle, Coulter's choice btw, for the Republican nomination for that particular Senate seat.

What's that you say? Why, yes . . . Ann Coulter was for establishment Republicans before she was against them. Because they were electable you see. And her position was just get a Republican instead of a Democrat in the seat and go from there. But she's completely reversed her position now because . . . book sales!

Coulter was on every show she could get booked on, talking about O'Donnell's various financial scandals, her stupid comments on Bill Maher's show about dabbling in witchcraft, and every other public foible in O'Donnell's life.

In the end, O'Donnell lost a race that should have been a shoe-in for Republicans to Democrat Chris Coons by double digits, 57% - 40%. A fact Coulter brings up to this day when she lashes out with haughty superiority at the Tea Party and their blind support for outsider candidates.

Any of that seem hauntingly familiar to you now, Ann? A polarizing candidate, with no qualifications for the position he's running for . . . a past full of financial scandals and disasters . . . blindly supported by voters looking for an outsider despite the fact he has no chance of winning a general election?

Should Trump win this nomination and go on to lose the general election, when people line up to bash you Ann, we're going to hold up Trump as your Christine O'Donnell moment.

You read it here, first.

Oh my goodness, I almost forgot . . . need some more synchronicity between Trump and O'Donnell? Check out the title of her autobiography:

Troublemaker: Let's Do What It Takes to Make America Great Again

How freaky is that?

Because it's your f*cking job, Rush!

rush Limbaugh is a fucking coward!

I only made it through the first couple of minutes of Hannity as Sean had Laura Ingraham on and they were bouncing in their seats, beaming, because Donald Trump was ahead in all the polls, except the one Hannity called an "outlier" and looked to be ready to run the table on his way to the nomination.

Ingraham and Hannity were joking about how the Republican establishment was going through the 5 stages of grief at the prospect of a Trump nomination.

Really?! Are you two so fucking stupid that you can't see the danger in making Donald Trump the face of the Republican party in this country?! I'm always astounded when you hear one of these bozos opine that a Trump Presidency is preferable to a Clinton/Sanders Presidency. What metric are you using to come to that conclusion? Where in the endless contradictory statements, leftist stances and childish outbursts are you finding a man suited for anything other than a carnival sideshow performer?

In another of his click-bait, the sky is falling, game over man, posts at HotAir, the execrable Allapundit spotlighted Rush Limbaugh losing his cool with a couple of callers who dared to ask why he wasn't speaking out about Trump's ill-suited-ness for the Oval Office.
I’m gonna answer it this way. Honest, from the depths of my heart: This country needs to be saved from the Democrat Party. The Democrat Party is the most destructive force in this country, and anything that beats it, anything that blows it to smithereens, anything that renders it a minority institution — ’cause that’s what I think needs to happen . . .

It’s really simple, my friends: I don’t want to destroy anybody who could defeat Hillary Clinton. I don’t want to damage anybody who could defeat the Democrat Party. It’s no more complicated than that.

Really, Rush? Is it really no more complicated than that? Because maybe you should take a look at the polls and polling data. You know, the polls that show that Trump loses to anyone the Dems throw up there -- Clinton, Sanders, Biden, Warren . . . anyone. Trump loses, and badly, to all of them. And the polling data that shows Trump with the highest unfavorables of anyone on the Republican side of the contest.

Here's what's uncomplicated big boy -- Trump won't win independents, he won't win moderate Democrats, and just like with John McCain in 08, a significant portion of Republican voters aren't going to vote for Trump no matter what. So how is he going to win? Simple, uncomplicated point -- he won't.

And where will you have been? Sitting on your ass, behind your gold microphone disparaging the Republican establishment because the guy you foisted on the voting public got his ass handed to him in a winnable election? You've been all to happy to wear the mantle of the Voice of Conservatism for years. You've made your millions by claiming you were Equal Time for conservative thought in a predominately liberal media. And yet when the time came to point out that a pretender was set to destroy everything us grass root activists have fought for these last years, you went AWOL. Afraid to take a stand.

So save your arrogant newsletters and haughty poses for someone else pal. Like Sarah Palin . . . you're dead to me.

Monday, February 15, 2016

Maitland Ward wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day belatedly

And I totally forgive her tardiness . . .

maitland ward valentines day

Hilary Duff still in a bikini = searching for something

hilary duff bikini maui

Like the answer to why I'm never around when Hilary Duff is crawling around on her hands and knees in a bikini?

hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui

[aside] Seriously though, it's got to be a bummer to realize that you can't have an awkward moment in your life without it turning up on the web or in some magazine. It's a dangerous dance these celebs play -- they court the pap's to keep their profile in the public awareness, but have to endure the intrusions when they would like some privacy. It's been said before that fame is a double-edged sword, I don't think I could handle it.

Melanie Brown in a bikini = not scary

melanie brown bikini

Melanie Brown (the former Scary Spice of the Spice Girls if you're not sure) is doing the beach thing in the Turks and Caicos and looking pretty damn fit (and happy) to these eyes:

melanie brown bikini
melanie brown bikini
melanie brown bare ass in a bikini

Not sure what kind of tsunami wave it took to get her bikini bottoms off that ass, but not to worry, she got things back in order once on dry land:

melanie brown bikini ass

[aside] I'm always amazed at these celebs going into the water wearing what looks like thousands of dollars of jewelry, watches, etc. Is it because it's all fake? Or that they just don't care? Or that they're so sure they're going to be pap'ed that they want to look properly accessorized at all times?

so odd

Saturday, February 13, 2016

About that Ted Cruz commerical . . .

Okay, by now you probably already know the story -- the Cruz campaign shoots a commercial slamming Rubio over his Gang of 8 immigration disaster. The tag-line for the spot is uttered by a handsome looking blonde who says something along the lines of "Maybe next time don't vote for a pretty face." It's another riff along the lines of Chris Christie's endless "boy" remarks. Only problem is, the comely lady who spoke the line isn't exactly unknown to television audiences. Especially fans of late-night soft-core cable television porn:

amy lindsey nude

Yep. Amy Lindsey has an unremarkable career as an actress in those quickie low-budget skinimax late night flicks. Not sure who figured this out. And my first response would be to wonder exactly how he recognized her . . . that might lead to an interesting exchange if you know what I mean.

But Cruz, and his campaign, desperate to position him as the evangelical go-to guy, quickly yanked the spot and apologized for not vetting the actress more thoroughly. Insert your own double entendre there if you like.

Now I have some knowledge of folks who work in the adult industry (don't ask), and most are certainly liberal in their politics, but just like Hollywood, there are conservatives in the adult industry and they keep their views to themselves just like their mainstream counterparts in Hollywood.

If I had anything to do with Cruz's campaign, I would have reached out to Ms. Lindsey and asked about her political views. If she was sympathetic to Cruz and/or conservatism, I would have left the commercial on the air, and when the kerfluffle hit the fan, my response would have been that we, as conservatives, don't judge people by superficial appearances. This is the young lady's chosen line of work, and yes, we'd be happier if she was able to earn a living without exploiting herself thusly, but all are welcome under our tent. And if she doesn't share our political views, we certainly aren't about to deny her a right to make a living over simple political differences.

Or some such. Point being, there was a chance to show some real compassion and inclusion here, they accept Bruce Jenner for crying out loud, why not a c-grade late night actress?

But what's done is done. No one asked me my opinion (and why not?), but Amy's getting her 15 minutes of bright light and Google searches. I'll do my part, here's a couple of screen caps from something she's done. Don't ask me what, I'm not that much of a connoisseur of that late night stuff.

amy lindsey nude
amy lindsey nude
amy lindsey nude

So it seems someone had the bright idea of actually speaking to Ms. Lindsey about politics (gee, reading my blog again? How come I never get credit for these ideas?) and she had some interesting thoughts on Hillary and Bill.

In regards to Bill Clinton's sexual escapades, Amy pointed out that "Bill Clinton had real sex with real people, it destroyed real lives." As opposed to her own theatrical portrayals of consentual sex in the movies she's done.

She said she was initially put off Hillary Clinton because of her defense of a rapist back when she was a practicing lawyer. Her behavior in recent years hasn't warmed Ms. Lindsey to Hillary one bit:

"All of her stuff that woman has been involved in, to me, is just disgraceful, absolutely disgraceful, and you know, in light of all of this, the emails and our national security and all of this other stuff, the fact that she’s running for president blows my mind."

She doesn't mind the idea of a woman as President but I don't think she'll be pulling the lever for Hillary if it comes to that.

Like I said, maybe they shouldn't have yanked that ad so quickly. Amy Lindsey looks like a keeper to me.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Movie review -- Deadpool

deadpool movie review

Check this out -- I'm doing a movie review on a movie that's not only in theaters now, it is premiering tonight! Siskel & Ebert? pfooey!

Anyway, if you're an adult like me (why are you laughing?) and a comic fan, you've probably found any number of the many comic adaptations to be a bitter disappointment, either by eviscerating the mythology of the characters, or the watered-down intensity of the theatrical release in comparison to the comic itself.

After fanboys rioted over the portrayal of Deadpool in the X-Men origins story a few years back, Ryan Reynolds got together with a writer and director and talked about the potential of a movie that hewed more closely to the outrageous character of the comic version of Deadpool. They worked hard, going for an R rating right out of the gate and the result is in theaters now.

So here we go:

If you've seen any of the trailers, you've got the basic backstory and plot. It goes a bit like this -- Wade Wilson is a former special ops soldier, discharged (dishonorably? [edit] my son points out that he was dishonorably discharged, so thanks for helping out the old man here :-)) from the service, he now works as a mercenary. Not one of the high-profile romanticized types who overthrow governments and do daring rescue operations around the world . . . no, Wilson is more of a hired muscle kind of guy. The sort who takes whatever a woman can scrape together and then goes and puts the fear of God into some dude who's been stalking/harassing her. The frightening insanity of his approach seems to do wonders in this.

He hangs/works out of an underground bar sort of place -- think the basement club in the Continental from John Wick except without the classy music, booze, and clientele. The bar has a tote board on the wall, where the various mercs place bets on who will die next and aren't above setting a comrade up in order to win a few bucks.

Wilson meets a hooker named Vanessa, played by the wonderful Morena Baccarin, and after an awkward initial meeting find they are strikingly similar in humor and disposition. Their tastes in sardonic wit, sarcasm and raucous, raunchy sex has Wilson musing that he could have created Vanessa with a computer. Their year long courtship, set to the song Calendar Girl is often hilarious as various holidays are celebrated, sexually, with the appropriate form of intercourse. Chinese New Year? Uh oh, it's the Year of the Dog! You know where that's going.

And so on.

Life's perfect for Wade, so naturally, the sky falls on him. He gets cancer. With a capital C. Or as he refers to it "El Cancer" as they call it in Mexico. Despairing over his fate, Wilson gets a meet from a mysterious man. Played by Jed Rees, with his worminess dialed up to eleven, Agent Smith, as Wilson snarkily calls him, gives him the Six Million Dollar Man riff -- we can cure you, make you better, give you super powers, yada, yada . . .

After much anguished pondering, Wilson goes ahead with "The Cure." But of course, it's not that simple. The Cure may be worse than the cancer itself. And the torturous procedure is performed by two of those who have already gone through it. Ajax, an oily euro-trash sort, played by Ed Skrein, has increased strength and no pain receptors left in his body from the procedure. His assistant, Angel, played by a bulky Gina Carano, has nearly superhuman strength and may be slightly indestructible. Together they apply the procedure to Wilson with sadistic glee.

As Wilson endures, and continues to annoy the two with his smart-mouth wise cracks, Ajax and Angel begin to hope Wilson dies instead of passing through the entirety of the process. But he does not die. His survival leaves him nearly indestructible, he regenerates tissue and body parts at a hyper-accelerated pace. But his body and face are scarred nearly beyond recognition. As his friend Weasel, played by T.J. Miller, points out -- he's hauntingly ugly.

Wilson can't go back to Vanessa looking like a monster, so he sets out to find Ajax, who made an off-hand remark about being able to reverse Wilson's disfigurement.

From here on out, it's a story of Wilson, slowly morphing into the Deadpool character via the evolving costume, butchering his way through the mysterious organization's personnel on his way to Ajax himself. Along the way there, Deadpool runs afoul of the X-Men, in the persons of Colossus and his trainee Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Yeah . . . don't ask me.

The X-Men want Deadpool to use his abilities for good, stop killing people, and so on. He basically tells them to go f*ck themselves. It's not until late in the story, when Ajax kidnaps Vanessa to get leverage over him that Deadpool goes back to Colossus and enlists their help.

Pretty much everything there is found in the trailers (here and here), so I'm not spoiling anything for you if you're reading this. Plus, let's face it, this isn't The Sixth Sense, or The Usual Suspects or some movie with a big reveal at the end, it's an action flick based on a comic book. It's supposed to be a fun ride, and man, is it ever.

A bit about the tone of the movie. From the opening credits, literally (and I do mean literally), the irreverential tone for the movie is set. The writers and Reynolds poke fun at everything from Reynold's rep as a pretty boy, to his various turns in other superhero movies, with Green Lantern and the first incarnation of Deadpool getting a lot of brutal snark, to the X-Men and Hugh Jackman on multiple occasions. One of the things the comic version of Deadpool was known for was breaking the fourth wall, that is, speaking directly to the reader. You get that here in a variety of ways. Including the self-awareness that they're making a movie.

There's an exchange covered in Entertainment Weekly that illustrates this nicely. Colossus tells Deadpool at one point that they should "speak to Professor X" about his situation. Deadpool responds by asking if he means MacAvoy or Stewart because all the timelines make it confusing to know which one he means.

The fight scenes are gloriously brutal and bloody and messy. The cgi and special effects are pretty seamless with only a few instances where it's obvious they're using cg instead of actual folks. The Colossus character is entirely cg and voiced by Stefan Kapicic and is a high point for me. One of my many complaints with the X-Men movies is the ignoring of the Colossus character. Nice to see him fleshed out, so to speak, for an extended period of a movie.

There's a ton of bad language in the film, as I jokingly told one person, it should have a F*cking Language Warning! because it is salty beyond belief. There's also nudity, as in a long strip club scene, that has a cameo appearance that had folks in my theater actually applauding and plenty of simulated sex between Wilson and Vanessa. Like I said, they went R right out of the gate and didn't look back.

It's funny in a lot of ways, from sight gags to situations to just how Deadpool responds to things and the smart-ass stuff he says. There were plenty of times I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard during the movie. You can't take your young kids to this movie. Like the Watchmen movie a few years back (perhaps my favorite comic adaptation) this is an adult film made for adults but based on a comic book character.

It's a definite must see if you love this genre, and I highly recommend it.

You know who else likes this movie? Pretty much everyone. Deadpool, as of this writing, has the largest R rated opening in history with $135 million and a projected $150 million for the four-day weekend. That destroys the previous high of $91.8 million the Matrix Reloaded brought in 2003. Deadpool also has the largest February weekend and the largest President's Day opening (which sort of seems redundant, doesn't it? Not my stats, bro) beating last year's 50 shades of Grey which brought in $85.2 million.  just sayin'

A few small afterwords. At one point in the movie, Deadpool is living with a blind black lady he meets in a Laundromat. Watching the credits, I saw that the black lady was played by Leslie Uggams. Wow. You'd have to be as old as me to know who that is, but back in the 60s, she was on every television variety show there was. A singer, dancer, actress -- stage and screen, she was big time. What a fun place to see her turn up after all these years. They could have gotten anyone to play that role, I wonder why she was chosen.

Also, the director, Tim Miller, says there will definitely be a director's cut of the movie released with more violence, gore, etc. I cannot wait. The theatrical release is 1h 48m. I wonder how much more stuff didn't make it into the final edit. Also a Deadpool 2 is supposedly in the works.

There's also talk of bringing Deadpool back into the X-Men universe for future movies. With Disney in control of that francise, I cannot imagine how they could bring this character in without sanitizing it to the point where it loses it's identity. If that's the option, I hope it does not come to pass.

In lieu of a gallery of hotness, here's some character profiles released by the studio during the promotional run up to the premiere:

deadpool movie character profile -- deadpool
deadpool movie character profile  -- Vanessa carlysle
deadpool movie character profile -- colossus
deadpool movie character profile -- negasonic teenage warhead
deadpool movie character profile -- ajax
deadpool movie character profile -- angel

Did you find this review helpful? Check out my other reviews for my thoughts on the flicks and the occasional gallery of hotness that accompanies them: