When does the tease become something else?

A taunt, perhaps?

My friend at work, a female friend, and yes I do have a couple, showed me a magazine cover today. And she's saying how much she loves this chick on the cover.

I've said before that I don't find Katy Perry all that annoying. Certainly not as much as most celeb bloggers who rag on her endlessly. Her music is decent -- fairly generic pop. And her image? Well, that's where we're going tonight. Here's the picture:

Yeah honey, I got it. You've got boobs. I haven't met a girl yet who doesn't. But Katy's thing is to relentlessly showcase them in daring outfits that seem on the edge of a wardrobe malfunction. Which is the point, of course.

And that's my point -- nothing's going to happen. Ever. Because she goes to great lengths to ensure that nothing slips out. It's a tease, you see. And with Katy, a neverending one. Because there's no payoff on the horizon.

If you go back and look at films of the old burlesque routines, the gals had a lengthy number where they slowly took off their clothes. Of course in those days, as Cole Porter said -- "A glimpse of stocking, was something quite shocking." or words to that effect. But at the end of the performance, as the dancer was slipping off stage, the audience would get the slightest peek at the lady's body. It wasn't much, but is was some payoff.

In Katy Perry's case, there will never be a payoff, because underneath it all, she's only pretending to be a hoochie. And that's when I begin yawning.

There is another gal at work. We've been attracted to one another for years. But she is married, so nothing is ever go to happen between us. My marriage broke up because my wife cheated on me multiple times on multiple levels, and I would never put anyone else through that.

But this gal at work is a flirt. Big time. She wants the guys, all the guys to notice her. She dresses to be noticed. And to her credit, for a 50 year old woman, she can rock the sh*t out of a pair of tight hip-huggers.

So we've had this "Where's Waldo?" flirtation thing going on for years between us. But as I pointed out to her recently -- why? There's never going to be any payoff for the flirting, so why are we bothering?

Because it feeds her ego, that's why. She knows that men are watching her, checking her out, and it makes her feel attractive and desireable. But to me, this is where we cross the line into taunting. She spends all day giving me the bedroom eyes, and the soft voice, and suggestive comments, that lead to . . . nothing. At the end of the day, she goes home to her husband, and I go home to my empty house.

Seems a bit cruel and self-centered to me.

And that is what I see with Katy Perry -- look at me, notice me, pay attention to me, . . .

And in the end, Katy gets . . . more hits on her webpage, a higher google ranking, more celebrity, etc. And what do you get? The same thing I get with my flirt at work -- the feeling of being used, and nothing else.

That's why, when my friend showed me the cover with Katy on it, I had to disappoint her by saying it didn't do anything for me. She didn't understand why, but if you're reading this, perhaps you will.

Update:
So the flirty gal at work is now having an affair. And guess who it is not with? Granted, I wouldn't have anyway -- I don't do married, but still. No, some random grease monkey came into the office, gave her a wink and a smile, and she was hittin' his sh*t in about two seconds.

Go figure.