The Royals -- they're just like you and me

Just because you're royalty, doesn't mean you don't need time away from the madding crowds to frolic in the surf. Royal sister Pippa Middleton is taking a much needed vacation (/sarc) from her hectic duties to vaca in St. Barth's:

Not to be disrespectful, but in the royal genetics pool, I think Kate got the booty genes and Pippa got the boob genes.

Fortunately for the Queen Mother, Pippa is not like the French Prime Minister's daughter -- Marie de Villepin:

And while we don't have official royalty here in the U.S., we do have faux royalty like Paris Hilton. And the Brits aren't going to be outdone by us colonists. They have their own version of Paris -- Lady Victoria Hervey. Who, while sharing the same penchant for topless yachting, doesn't have Paris' enormous feet. But she does have the fattest ankles I've ever seen. What's up with that?

Tove Lo still keepin' it classy on stage

A few months back I brought you all what I thought might be a kinda sorta on purpose oopsey from singer Tove Lo. Guess this must be a regular feature of her shows:

One way to appeal to a diversified audience I suppose -- guys, lesbians, and the gender fluid crowd.

Katie Holmes still workin' the white trash look for her movie

On the set of her movie All We Had, Katie Holmes is still workin' the trailer park fabulous for all it's worth. I've had a bit of experience in this area, and if she wants to do it right, she needs to be rockin' the whale tail and a tramp stamp to get the look down tight.

Also, for the record, I'm not deliberately chosing images with weird looks on her faces. Blame the paps, these are what they are releasing, so I'm doing what I can with what I've got.

Damn that Jared Fogle

Normally this would be the sort of story you could have some fun with, but with effin' Fogle messing life up for everyone, I guess I should be a little fair handed here.

40ish Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader Molly Shattuck was arrested for performing a sex act on a minor, specifically she performed oral sex on a 15 year old boy. Shattuck will have to do 2 years of weekends in jail for the crime of making that kid a legend in his neighborhood.

Oops, I mean damaging that poor boy's self esteem and dooming him to a life of psychiatric care. They apparently caught Shattuck after the boy ratted her out to the authorities or his parents or someone.

I just don't know what to do with this. If a NFL cheerleader gave me a blow job when I was 15, I would have been BMOC for the next 3 years in high school. I guess the kid is traumatized. Or has a guilty conscience . . . I don't know. He's underage, so I doubt we'll get the full story about how/why this happened. This kind of stuff is sort of different for boys. I suppose it shouldn't be. I guess if she forced herself on him . . . ?!?! Where do you go with this?

So . . . shame on you Molly.

Update:
According to Newsbusters, Shattuck is 48 and a former cheerleader for the Ravens. She's also a mother of three who used her own 15 year old son to broker the hook-up -- "call my mom, she thinks you're hot." Supposedly the victim in the case has become somber and untrusting of others because of a 48 year old cheerleader giving him head.

Maybe it's the age difference. I know how most boys behaved when I was 15 -- most of them were fantasizing about this exact situation. If the female in question had been 15 also, folks would have been screaming about the Romeo & Juliet law, saying it was just natural hormones.

So like I said, I really don't know where to go with this whole mess. But I know where Molly's going -- to two years worth of weekends in the slammer. Maybe she can be a cheerleader for the prison football team.

Random thought

If Bruce Jenner gets convicted of vehicular manslaughter and ends up being incarcerated for a year, will he go to a woman's prison or a man's? Since he's a pretend female now, and with the SJW's running pretty much everything now, I'm thinking he'll get sent to some female jail.

You know he's getting all moist just thinking about that. Every B-grade girls in prison movie from the 60's and 70's is probably running through his head every night when he puts on his lace nightie and crawls into bed. The prospect of a little Orange is the new Black action while he's in there has got to be driving him wild:

Forbes biggest female moneymakers in Hollywood

So Forbes released their biggest money makers for 2015. Not sure how that works since we're only 8 months into the year. I suppose they project earnings. But here's the list and I found at least a couple of surprises:

		No. 1 Jennifer Lawrence $52 million
		No. 2 Scarlett Johansson $35.5 million
		No. 5 Jennifer Aniston $16.5 million
		No. 7 Angelina Jolie $15 million
		No. 8 Reese Witherspoon $15 million
		No. 9 Anne Hathaway $12 million
		No. 10 Kristen Stewart $12 million
		No. 11 Cameron Diaz $11 million
		No. 12 Gwyneth Paltrow $9 million
		No. 14 Amanda Seyfried $8 million
		No. 15 Sandra Bullock $8 million

So here's what jumped out at me -- Reese Witherspoon makes as much as Angelina Jolie? That seems odd to me. I don't put them in the same talent catagory at all. Gwyneth makes only a fraction of what JLaw makes, and that's with her Goopy website and all the other side stuff she does. Plus she's got that Avengers gig. WTF? And how the heck is Cameron Diaz on this list? Can you name a movie she's been in recently? Maybe that thing with Kate Upton a couple of years ago, but what is she doing to rake in the coin like this?

Hollywood may be the last accepted bastion of legitimate payroll disparity between men and women in this country. But still, these gals aren't exactly on the poverty line here.

Thinning the herd

Polk County (FL) Sheriff's department decided to reach out to Facebook users to find two wanted felons. Not sure why they thought the immoral crew that haunts social media these days would help law enforcement officials, but whatevs:

Well, just to show what a master criminal he is (his evil criminal partner has already been caught), mister wanted here decided to taunt the cops on their own post:

And this is where I invoke social Darwinism -- if this moron is stupid enough to think he can constantly upload stuff to Facebook and Twitter and not get tracked down, he's too stupid to be walking around free to begin with. Of course, he already has a mugshot, so you know he's no Lex Luthor.

The Sheriff's department didn't take these taunts lying down and provided some snark of their own in reply:

Update:

Darwin is alive and living large as the moron is in custody. Logan Hale was picked up tonight by Sheriff's deputies and booked on armed burglary. The Pasco County Sheriff still had some snark in him as he updated their Facebook page with this little ditty -- "Logan Hale, you are on your way to jail. Your attempts to hide were to no avail. Epic fail"

Like I said -- too stupid to be walking around free in the first place. Enjoy the slammer, dumbass!

Chloe Bennet in a bikini = unfulfilling

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. hottie Chloe Bennet posted a couple of pics of her and a friend blowing bubbles whilst wearing bikinis to Twitter or Instagram or something:

They're not fabulous pictures and as popular as she's become via the series, she keeps a frustratingly low profile. But I noticed in my site stats that folks are looking for these pictures, and I live to serve, so . . . hoped you liked them.

Man, did I call this

In a previous post, I mentioned that one of the defenses Hillary Clinton will rely on in ServerGate is the old it wasn't classified when I got it line. Well, what do you know:

On conference call, @brianefallon says Clinton was "passive recipient of unwitting information that subsequently became classified."

— Annie Karni (@anniekarni) August 19, 2015

So not only did she give the FBI a server that had been wiped clean (as I predicted), she's also playing the I'm just an ignorant old lady routine -- Wiped my server? You mean with a cloth or something? and How was I supposed to know it was classified? I'm only the Secretary of State.

That she's throwing every possible excuse against the wall to see what sticks doesn't surprise me much. But the rush by Dems to say every one of her preposterous excuses is totally valid just staggers me. Dems and Dem voters say it's okay for Hillary to apparently be so doddering and senile and tech unsavvy that she doesn't understand basic computer components and applications and doesn't understand the nature of Classified Documents.

Fabulous! Let's put grandma in the White House and have her finger on the button. What could go wrong? Just ask the ambassador from Bengazi. Oh yeah, you can't.

Remember how Dems and their sycophantic media allies relentless painted George Bush as an idiot? Every night on every alphabet network news show you had some talking head or commentator point out that Bush was a simpleton, far too uneducated to be running this country. And they leveled similar charges at his father. Remember the hubbub in the supermarket, when Bush 41 remarked about the inventory scanner? He's so out of touch, they screamed. Old white man just doesn't know anything about the real world.

But it's different with Hillary, right? Too stupid to understand the laws and regulations of being Secretary of State. Too ignorant of basic computer security that she thought a publicly accessed server was okay for every day use. So doddering and senile that her staff just runs amok beneath her, stripping classified imprimaturs off documents, etc. Yeah. She's totally okay for the big job.

pathetic

---

And I had posted about Jared Fogle a while back when he was first arrested. Well, it seems he plead guilty to possession of child porn.

Some 5 months ago, Fogle's head of his charitable foundation was arrested on charges of producing child pornography. Since we already know that Fogle was soliciting underage girls for sex, and authorities have seized a truckload of computer stuff from his house, I'm guessing Fogle's lightning quick plea deal is intended to keep everything else from coming out. Child pornography isn't just sex, there's a whole seedy fetish-y subculture at work there. And I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Fogle was involved in some pretty distasteful stuff.

This guy's life is over. By his own perverted hand. Hard to feel sorry for him.

Update:
Apparently this investigation into Fogle had been going on for 10 years! A local woman down here had met Fogle in her role as a health reporter and Fogle had opened up about how "hot" he found middle school girls to be. He was mic'ed at the time and didn't realize he was being recorded. The reporter took it on her own to continue a pseudo friendship with Fogle, who was more than willing to share detailed information about his fantasies involving underage girls -- one of which included getting a middle school girl into the school's bathroom (for sex, presumably) during school hours.

As news of this long running investigation comes out (they had multiple people recording conversations with Fogle concerning his perversions), it will be interesting to see if there's any blowback over allowing this predator to room free and repeatedly solicit sex with 16 year olds while the FBI built its case.

Daily Duffster

Hilary Duff took her little one to the Farmer's Market the other day and let him romp around in the bouncy house ('cause who doesn't love bouncy houses, amiright?). Working hard to supplant Kate Beckinsale as World's Hottest Mom™, my Duffster once again combined her effortless hotness with a penchant for tight jeans and short shorts for the perfect look:

Glenn Beck exposes the hypocrisy

Beck was on Hannity last night to talk about an open letter he posted on Facebook, primarily to mainstream conservative commentators like Hannity, Coulter, Michael Savage and Rush (I'll add Greta in here as she's had a fawning jones for Trump ever since she got her own show). I'll excerpt the money shot:

"He is part of the problem when he by his own admission, buys politicians; he said he identifies his "policies more as a democrat"; he makes President Obama look truly humble; he was very pro abortion until very recently; he still says "don't defund planned parenthood"; he is pro "assault weapon ban"; he is in favor of a wealth tax that would just "take money out of people's bank accounts"; he is for boots on the ground in Iraq and 'taking the oil' from the Iraqi people; he is a progressive 'republican'; he says single payer health care works; he said he would give people more than just Obama care; the First Lady would be the first to have posed nude in lesbian porno shots; he said that he keeps all the bibles he is given in a "special place" out side the city - and he only goes to church on Christmas and Easter; he is generally not a likable guy; he has around 16% favorability with Hispanics and he has gone bankrupt 4 times."

Beck maintained a polite demeanor during his interview with Hannity, but you could see him nearly rolling his eyes as Sean brazenly put his hypocrisy front and center. When Beck questioned why Hannity accepted Trump's flip-flops on policy issues, Sean said it didn't matter what Trump said in the past, he believed what he was saying now. When Beck pointed out that it was Hannity himself who railed for months during the 2008 election that Barack Obama's comments prior to his election should be held against him, Hannity basically replied that it was different with Trump.

It's like debating a 14 year old.

And frankly, I'd throw Coulter under the bus on this in a heartbeat. Does anyone in the conservative commentator sphere have a worse record supporting candidates that Ann? She was wrong about Romney, wrong about Christie, wrong about McConnell, wrong about the Tea Party, etc. She's backing Trump because he riding her hobby horse of the moment -- immigration. She goes on these talk shows and takes any conversation about anything and finds a way to tie it to her stance on illegal immigration. It's absurd. Why does anyone listen to this woman on anything?

I said it in a previous post and I'll repeat myself once again -- Trump is a self-aggrandizing clown. He's a buffoon. His bullying tactics won't work in the White House and we've suffered through 6 1/2 years of a President who thinks he's better than the rest of us and smarter too. We don't need to put another wanna-be king in the White House simply because he's running as a Republican. Michael Bloomberg ran as a Republican for mayor of New York. How'd that work out? He was no more a conservative than Trump is.

Thinking conservatives should not be supporting this bozo. And frankly, I'm surprised that Beck's the only one of note who's come out publicly about this. I had given up on him when his show on FOX turned into a nightly cry-along. I don't visit The Blaze, my best friend did regularly, but I may have to start dropping in occasionally as he seems the only pundit of note who doesn't have his head up his ass at the moment.

Salma Hayek in a bikini = magnifico

Or is it magnífica? I'm not sure about whether the feminine applies to this particular adjective. But feminine certainly applies to real biological woman Salma:

¡Fabuloso!

Sarah Silverman isn't giving up

Amy Schumer has taken her unabashed 160lb curvy body and frank comedy routine right to the top of the female comic circuit. Of course, with such attention on her now, she has naturally back-pedaled on some of her stuff that offends the SJW crowd. But she's number one with a bullet at the moment.

Sarah Silverman isn't taking that lying down. She turned up at some foreign press affair rocking some nearly inappropriate cleavage (if there's such a thing):

Just not going to hand over the it-girl comic mantle without a fight.

Update:
I wasn't aware of it, but apparently Sarah is in some cable tv series (I think the one about Masters & Johnson) and she's been nekkid more than a few times so far. So here's what's under that dress and don't say I never give you guys anything:

And while I'm talking about shameless self-promotion . . . remember when Michael Bay was making Megan Fox a million dollar household name? And she was complaining that all he wanted to do was shoot her tits and ass? Yeah. So here's 30 year old Megan dressed up like a naughty schoolgirl on the set of the new TMNT movie:

It's not exactly a never say never thing, but in today's world, these gals (and guys) would do well to think before they open their mouths and say something that's going to come back on them. How lucky I am to have grown up in a time where every public utterance of mine wasn't uploaded to the cloud to live forever.

whew