Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes...

As the Rays do their post-mortem on their season, the focus has returned once again to the team's usual anemic offense. Team captain Evan Longoria said he believes the problems were rooting in attitude in the offseason and spring training:

[suggesting players came in thinking] "things are going to be easier than they really are."

"We all need to take a look in the mirror this offseason and understand what kind of player we are and be able to come back next year and try and fill those obligations and what we're expected to do offensively individually...and I think if we can do that, then as a team we'll be better."

This coming from a player who was mostly invisible when the team needed him most -- that dreadful mid-season slump, that took them out of playoff contention. Though he played the entire season for a change, his power numbers 22hr/90rbi/.404 slugging percentage are not exactly what one expects from a team's pre-eminent hitter.

Contrast that with David Ortiz of the Sox who played in 20 less games and yet hit 35hr with 104rbi and sported a respectable .517 slugging percentage.

That Longoria accounted for nearly 25% of the Rays total offense gives definition to the word anemic. Interestingly one player on the team may be in line to create his own definition of unproductive as in The Mendoza Line. In this case we have The Molina Line for Rays catcher Jose Molina whose production was the worst in the last 100 years of Major League Baseball!

A .178 average is a good starting point, but it gets better (or worse depending on how you look at it). With 225 at bats, Molina had only two extra base hits -- tied for the worst in history. His four runs scored is the fewest ever and the .187 slugging percentage is the lowest in a century. Brutal.

Every year in spring training, when the team is struggling to put runs of the board, Maddon says the same thing -- it'll be fine once we start swinging the bats better. After all these years, when do you suppose that's gonna happen Joe?

So what have we learned -- the fappening

Well for starters, despite it's techy nerd cred, Apple is like any other multi-gajillion dollar corporation. When something goes wrong, the default response is to deny, deny, deny:

Yes, Apple would have you believe that a group of hackers simply guessed the passwords of over a hundred female celebrities (and I'm using that term very loosely in some cases), accessed those accounts and then guessed the answers to the follow up questions that arise when you access your account from an unknown computer. According to Apple, these attacks didn't set off any alarms as multiple wrong guesses were made and then the hackers reset the passwords without any of the account holders knowing this. Then they simply downloaded the images and data at their leisure.

Yeah. Sure.

While we're at it . . . I've got this bridge, it's in south Florida, doesn't really matter where it goes, but you can see from the span a little preserve I've set up where Jim Morrison, Elvis, and Amelia Earhart oversee a preserve for domesticated sasquatches and unicorns with rainbow tails. It's quite spectacular and I'll let it go at a reasonable price. And yes, I accept bitcoins.

Seriously?!?! If you've been paying any attention to techy news these last few years, you know that Apple, Google, Microsoft and other software/platform design companies provide a back door to the federal government, presumably in the name of national defense or the Patriot Act or Homeland Security or some such. More likely it's something along the line of "Here's a backdoor in guys, don't say anything about our indecent data mining or anything, okay?" If there's a back door, these hackers will find it. It's what they do. I believe someone did. And this is the problem with storing your delicate personal info on a public remote server.

If you want secure, get a stand alone server with no outside access (think the Mission Impossible movie version of the CIA mainframe) and download your info yourself. I've got plenty of friends who complain about how they think they've deleted something only to have it pop up again because the Cloud still has it.

Another thing that amazes me, from a sociological perspective, is seeing what fascinates these stars about themselves. Jennifer Lawrence is totally impressed with her own boobs, for instance, as her account is full of pics and vids of her topless and dancing around and showcasing her bosom. At the other end of the spectrum is Hope Solo, who can't get enough of her own girly bits. As one guy mentioned, he could probably pick her vagina out of a line-up now. Kristen Ritter seemed very impressed with her trim job as she had a bunch of pics of her little arrow trim.

I also wondered about why these pictures were taken. And were they supposed to be shared with someone, or kept for the owner to look back on later? In some cases, Mary Elizabeth Winstead for example, she kept some pics she had taken for/by her husband as mementos. Same with Teresa Palmer. But most of what I've seen just seems to be mostly young actresses fascinated with the ability to take dirty or salacious pictures of themselves.

And while partial nudity doesn't qualify as dirty, some of the stuff has been pretty hardcore. Jessica Brown Findlay's pics and video were pretty personal and a bit embarrassing. And the images Melissa Benoist are just plain ole hard core sex. And those are interesting because they weren't taken with a cell phone or stills off a video, imho. Those look to have been taken either by a third party, or a camera on a tripod set on time-release. That's a lot of work to get pics of you and your boyfriend getting it on.

Also not surprising was to see someone *cough* Kim Kardashian *cough* claim to have been hacked also to get in on the publicity. Amazing how her pictures were crystal clear and so perfect to have one wonder about whether they were 'shopped.

This thing keeps chugging along with pics released daily. Plenty are fakes and I'm also amazed at why the hackers bothered with actresses who have already done enough nudity that we know what they look like:

And lastly, if I were to give advice to Kate Upton, I'd tell her to take that one topless picture of her on the bed in Verlander's shirt (and for the record -- I've seen more of Justin Verlander's ass than I ever want to see in this lifetime for one, and secondly, that's a fairly unimpressive physique for a pitcher. Of course, he's a millionaire Cy Young winner bedding Kate Upton and I'm . . . me, so he wins this hands down. Just sayin') and own it. Release it publicly with some statement about how she knows she said "never" about doing nudity, but it's already out there, so for her fans . . . a gift. She'd be queen of the geek world.

Just a suggestion.

So what have we learned -- my sports teams

Starting with the Red Sox -- the 2013 World Champs tried to duplicate the bargain shopping spree that worked such magic last year and failed miserably. A World Series hangover like I've never seen doomed the Sox to a dismal season. When it was obvious they weren't going to sniff the playoffs, GM Ben Cherrington didn't hesitate to pull the trigger on massive trades to rebuild the team in the long run. The entire pitching staff, save Clay Buccholz, was jettisoned to bring in a variety of position players.

Chief among them Yoenis Cespedes, who is looking like the steal of the decade right now. Also dropping some coin to get Cuban defector Rusny Castillo, the Sox have two-thirds of a pretty awesome outfield locked up for a while. Xander Bogoerts stumbled a bit at the plate, but after working with the hitting instructors has rediscovered his stroke and is crushing the ball once again. Catcher Christian Vasquez has blossomed into a major league catcher in short order. Already possessing a rifle arm, he's getting more comfortable at the plate too. With super-utility player Brock Holt and fielding wiz Jackie Bradley Jr., the Sox have a lot of young talent in the field to carry them along for years.

The pitching is a bit more dicey. Clay Buccholz admitted he took last summer off after his injuries and is only now rounding into mid-season form as evidenced by his shutouts and dominant performances of late. Joe Kelly, brought in via the Lackey trade, is a young fighter with awesome stuff and base stealing speed (how cool!). He's a definite keeper. The benefit to surrendering the end of the season gave Boston the chance to bring up talent from Pawtucket and let them play in the bigs against teams fighting for the playoffs. Alan Webster has shown signs of his touted promise (assuming he maintains control over his mechanics). Anthony Ranaudo looks like the real deal as does knuckleballer Steven Wright (got to have a knuckleball guy on the Sox). Brandon Workman, who looked so good in relief during last year's playoffs, didn't look as good as a starter and may be destined to long relief. And there are others in the pipeline.

Bottom line -- a couple smart trades for starting pitching and the Red Sox should be right back in the playoff hunt next year and years to come.

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Next the Rays -- a horrible mid-season 1-14 slump took them out of the playoff hunt and a furious sprint to get back in fizzled at the end. The Rays end a disappointing season with a sub .500 finish. The question becomes which is the real Rays? The mid-season slump + end of season fizzle? Or the mad sprint with MLB's best record for a month? Sadly, I think it is the former. The Rays are a national league team mired in the American league -- a pitching and fielding heavy team hoping to cobble together enough runs to steal a 2-1 or 3-2 win. And that won't cut it in the slugging AL.

Despite a Tampa Bay Times writer anointing Evan Longoria as the team's MVP (local sportswriters picked utility man Ben Zobrist), the Ray's legitimate slugger was anything but this season. Invisible when they needed him the most, he only came on after the pressure to make the playoffs was gone. And there's no one behind him to pick up the slack. Matt Joyce? James Loney? The Rays finished last in the AL in runs, left the most runners in scoring position in the majors and led the league in being shut out. They basically have no offense and no chance of finding one. As manager Joe Maddon kept saying during the season, he was just hoping the guys would start hitting at some point because they were wasting good pitching.

And team owners are cutting payroll next season, which isn't a good sign. Owners have played the stadium situation deftly down here. They put to lie the old saw about putting a competitive team on the field with fill the stands -- it doesn't/hasn't/won't. The Trop was poorly designed and located (literally on top of one of the worst housing projects in the city). Only the Yankees and Red Sox games fill that stadium, the rest of the time it's crickets chirping. Outgoing commissioner Bud Selig said the situation (last in attendance, again) was unacceptable. And in a possible hint, said later in the year that he'd like to see Montreal get a team again.

I won't be surprised if the Rays are gone after another season down here. And despite my unhappiness with self-important coach Joe Maddon, I and other natives waited for a long time to get our own team, I'd hate to see it go.

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And the Bucs -- hmmmm . . . I wonder what Greg Schiano is thinking right now? His team last year was, literally, four last second fluke plays/penalties from an 8-8 season, and he lost his job over that. In comes Lovie Smith, and the team looks like a worse team than when Raheem Morris was at the helm. Smith made me smile when he said what I've said for years -- the offensive line is overrated and unproductive. Unfortunately, Smith didn't do anything to fix that. Bypassing ProBowl lineman Richie Incognito because he's a meany mean pants for a guy who's already on the IR, there's no run or pass blocking to be found anywhere. These guys couldn't stop a herd of kindergarteners from getting to their juice boxes at play time.

The defense, Smith's specialty, is largely ineffective, and like the old orange Bucs, spends too much time on the field ending up gassed at the end when they're needed most. It's fairly obvious that Lovie is trying to replicate Tony Dungy's formula -- stifling defense and a ground and pound offense with a don't lose the game caretaker quarterback. Problem is they had a competent Brad Johnson back then. Now its Josh McCown -- a 34 year old career backup with a losing record, whom they actually said, for the record, that they expected would magically (my word) blossom into Rich Gannon at some point during the year. Yeah, there's an action plan for ya>

And it goes on and on. Even local sportswriters are shaking their heads over this team, though they are partly to blame for what's going on here. For some reason, the owners seem to listen to what these clowns have to say and then act on it. Super Bowl winning coach Jon Gruden is gone because local writers didn't like his disdain for them. The owners did their Obama hire, bringing in unqualified Raheem Morris to show their commitment to diversity over other vastly more qualified white head coaches available. And they canned Schiano because local writers complained that the former Rutgers head coach didn't understand pro football. This despite a staff that sported the likes of Butch Davis and Bill Cowher.

Short of a breakout year from Mike Glennon at QB (who I like) and some amazing luck, the Bucs are looking at a crappy year. And maybe a few more down the road.

*sigh* Bring on hockey season.

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And for no particular reason, here's a young lady sporting the politically incorrect cowboys and Indians motif:

Daily Duffster

Alternate title: Houston, we have underboob!

When I think of Hilary Duff in a leather skirt, this isn't exactly the look I have in mind:

It's not a bad look, but with her solid goodness and those awesome thighs (yummy) a dress with a gather on one side isn't the most flattering look you can go for. But one benefit of this interesting design . . . rare underboob:

So all in all, it's a net plus for my Duffster. Yay!

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Also performing at the festival, Taylor Momsen . . . and what in the boring hell?!?!

No skin. No electrical tape. No raccoon eye make-up. Don't tell me she's going all "legitimate artist" on us now.

Where's the fun in that?!

What the hell is a TOWIE?!

That's what I was asking myself when I first ran across these images of Jessica Impiazzi. Apparently it's an anagram for "The only way is Essex" which is some show on the BBC.

I don't know if she's the hottest chick on the show, but it seems like she got some new boobs and isn't shy about airing them out in a test drive. Truth be told -- that isn't the best boob job imho. Sometimes I think the doc should just pat these gals on the back and tell them enhancements aren't for everyone. But you judge for yourself   :-)

*click on the thumbnails for full-sized images*

Micaela Schafer has stopped fooling around

Lanky German model Micaela Schafer has been known for turning up a various events in outfits that were a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. Well apparently she got tired of teasing us because she just up and went "full monty" for some sort of themed . . . whatever:

So . . . snake . . . apple . . . fig leaf . . . garden of eden? Two Eves? Is there some sort of yin and yang thing going on with the blonde/brunette white robe/black robe thing? Somehow I can't imagine she's getting that deep with this. Ya know? But after getting full on nekkid in public, there's not much left of her shtick to work now. So no telling what's next.

small aside -- Aische Pervers (the blonde) might want to work on her lower body toning a bit . . . just sayin'

So, no dress code at that restaurant, eh?

Eliza Gonzalez went out to lunch the other day with some friends and decided to wear the damnedest leave-nothing-to-the-imagination shorts I've seen is quite a while:

I mean, she's worn those shorts before. She certainly knows how they fit and what they look like on her, and still:

As a rule, I've always figured that gals that wear white, particularly pants, are very comfortable with their figure since white is a pretty unforgiving color for clothes. In this case, I'm thinking Eliza here has a whole next level comfort thing going on.

wow

Daily Duffster

Okay, now she's just killing me. Could she look hotter? Or cuter?