So this is what happens when we underpay our teachers

They have to augment their meager salaries with some saucy modeling jobs:

It's the fault of those damn vouchers, I tell ya! The liberals were right all along!

On the one hand, I feel sorry for Ms. Sprauer for losing her job as English teacher at Martin County High School in Florida. It's a bit prudish on the part of the school to hyperventilate over something so benign. Ms. Sprauer is a young grad student presumably working hard as a teacher and moonlighting as a model to pay for the remainder of her college education.

On the other hand, in this day and age, it's a bit naive of Ms. Sprauer to imagine that after plastering saucy images of herself on her Facebook page, even under the professional name of Victoria V. James, she wouldn't eventually be recognized. High school age boys are little hormone machines. They're already fantasizing about their teachers, especially if they are even remotely attractive. And these kids spend all day on their computers and cell phones, browsing their various social networks. Just a matter of time before some hard breathing boy recognized this full-figured beauty:

Then of course, he shows the picture to his girlfriend who probably ratted the hot teacher out to the principal out of typical teenage girl jealousy.

'Cause girls are like that

---

Need more Victoria James hotness? Try these:

Victoria V. James has her own website now.

Victoria James did Hustler after all.

Helen Mirren got back

Yeah . . . the pic below is 67 year old(!) Helen Mirren rockin' the hell out of a pair of tight jeans:

That's just crazy! She is so the December to my May :-)

Letter Carrier's Food Drive

This Saturday, May 11th, is the 21st annual USPS Letter Carriers' food drive. This is the largest single day food drive in the country. Last year, USPS carriers collected over 70 million pounds of food, that was then distributed to food banks around the country.

With the day rapidly approaching, I'd like to offer a few tips to those who are inclined to donate to this worthy cause:

1. First off, please don't leave your donations out prior to Saturday if you can at all help it. Most stations do not have the storage space to keep all these donations for an extended period of time, we're pretty cramped in our offices. It's the reason we do this on a single day -- the logistics of this massive collection of goods works better if we can quickly turn the stuff around and get it out.

2. Dude, please . . . not that bulging, rusted, 15 year old can of creamed corn! Seriously folks, the stuff we are collecting is supposed to feed the hungry, not empty out your pantry. Have a heart! No expired goods, please. And non perishible too! No yogurt, quarts of milk, eggs, cheese slices, ice cream, etc. -- they should be items that can be stored on shelves at the food banks unrefrigerated.

3. Avoid glass containers if at all possible. I know it's tempting to toss a couple of jars of spaghetti sauce in there, but we're piling up bags of stuff in the backs of our trucks. And when we off-load, we're filling huge containers with all the collected goods. Those glass jars break more easily than you'd imagine, then you've got a mess plus a safety hazard with all the broken glass. Try to keep it to boxes, cans, and plastic jars whenever possible.

4. I know you're loving those cultured quail's eggs in artisan mustard sauce and want to share it with those less fortunate, but for the same amount of money, you probably could have purchased a case of beef-o-ghetti -- which would be much better for the cause in the long run. Remember -- this stuff is for food banks to distribute to the homeless and unfortunates that are struggling to find something to eat every day. Ravioli, Hungry Man soups, mac & cheese, canned veggies . . . simple, quickly prepared edible stuff is the way to go. And with most groceries running BOGO's these days, you can grab a couple of cans when you do your shopping and it won't set you back much.

Thanks in advance to everyone who pitches in this Saturday. I'll update this post with the collection totals as soon as they come in.

Well, hello there Vanessa Hudgens' undies

Vanessa Hudgens is pretty much always rockin' the groovy hippy look, and I like that about her. But sometimes, them sloppy floppy outfits just don't get the job done, from a covering things up standpoint that is:

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Or should I say ¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!?

Been way too long since I took any spanish in school. Our area down here has more of a Cuban heritage than a Mexican one, so I don't have any germane anecdotes to share.

Anyway, get your fiesta on and have fun today!

Tale of two scandals

Down here in Raysland, UmpGate is winding down . . . sort of. If you haven't been following it -- the other day the Rays were playing the White Sox. Reigning AL Cy Young winner David Price, who has been struggling with a 5 game winless streak, was battling to finally get off the schneid.

Looking agitated on the mound, Price didn't get the punch out he wanted in the sixth inning but got a ground out instead. On his way off the mound, passing by the home plate umpire, Price heard Tom Hallion say something. And that's where we get the he said, he said moment.

Price says Hallion swore at him. Hallion says he only said "Just throw the ball over the plate." Price heard the f-word in there. Hallion called Price a liar for saying he cursed at him. The Rays bench erupted, players flocked to Twitter to vent, implying Hallion was a "coward," a "liar," needed "accountability," etc.

MLB handed down some puny fines -- $1000 each to several players and Hallion, and hoped that would settle it.

Here's my thing -- we all curse too much these days. And often let bad words slip out without self editing. Hallion may have cursed and not realized it. He may have doubted he would let one fly during a game. So, he may be acting completely honest in his righteous denials in this instance.

On the other side of the coin, we all hear things we expect to hear. We're all aware of selective hearing, how many times does our mind finish sentences for us before the words are uttered? That's part of where the wait . . . what? comes from. A noisy stadium, crowd in full throat, Hallion starts a sentence and Price's mind finishes what he's expecting to hear. Perhaps someone in the stands was cursing and Price simply hears what he expects the ump is going to say.

We'll never know. There's no audio, or video one way or the other and both parties are adamant in their stances on the subject. Price is still demanding an apology from Hallion even though it hasn't been proved that he said anything wrong.

I lay part of the blame here at manager Joe Maddon's feet. Since he came to the Rays, Maddon has nurtured an atmosphere of perpetual victimhood amongst the players. Every call, every play, every freak occurrence is somehow proof that everyone is conspiring to hold the Rays down. A Rays pitcher hits an opposing batter -- ball just slipped. An opposing pitcher hits a Rays player -- its a deliberate hit put out by the manager. Better strike zones for the opposing pitcher, blah, blah, blah . . .

*sigh* It's tedious, to say the least. Oddly enough, Maddon himself is one of the people trying to brush this mess under the carpet and get on with things.

As far as the Red Sox are going -- pitcher Clay Buccholz, finally healthy is having the best year of his career. Against the woeful, cellar dwelling Blue Jays, Buccholz mowed through the line up for his league leading 6th win and lowered his ERA to 1.01

But Jays color guy, Dirk Hayhurst decided that Buccholz was cheating because . . . wait for it . . . he touched his sleeve between pitches! Oh the scandal! Then this douchebag doubles down on that by sending a tape to former pitcher Jack Morris, who quickly agrees.

Never mind that Buccholz can be seen putting rosin (a legal substance) on his sleeve during the game. Never mind that he can be seen pouring water on his head between innings. Never mind that no actual players in the game, nor the umpires had any reason to question Buccholz doctoring balls in ANY of his starts this year. No, these two assholes can't get over the fact that their team paid wildly to win the division and the World Series and got a crappy 10-21 joke instead.

Nope, it has to be that Buccholz is cheating. Former Sox pitcher Curt Schilling pointed out on television the other night, that the problem with throwing a spitter is that you can't control the ball. No one, not the pitcher or the catcher knows where the ball is going. If you watch any of Buccholz' games, you can see he's painting the corners with amazing precision. Can't do that throwing a spit ball.

Thankfully, the guys are laughing this mess off. Bottles of lotion, vaseline, etc., are appearing on lockers during interviews.

Man, only 30 games into the season and so much drama already.

Tale of two supposedly crazy starlets

So there was a time Amanda Bynes looked like this:

Then something happened and she's walking the city streets looking like a homeless person with pierced cheeks *groan*, sharpie brows, and half her head shaved:

And also threatening to sue magazines that publish pictures of her she doesn't personally pre-approve. So she's constantly taking self-shots and posting them to twitter, like this:

'Cause all these bathroom selfies make her look far less crazy *eye roll*

Meanwhile today, Miley Cyrus, who's been accused of riding the crazy train these days, appeared in V magazine looking seriously sexy, despite the spiked hair which just doesn't do it for me, sorry:

I'm thinking one of these girls is 'round the bend and the other is just crazy like a fox . . . care to venture which is which?