Saturday, August 11, 2012

Yeah but, when it was on the rack . . .

Former Rule 5 beauty Joanna Krupa was out in Santa Monica the other day for what I'm sure was a photo shoot of some kind.

Looking fabulous in a pink bikini with metallic accenting, Joanna found out what should have been obvious to a seasoned model:

joanna krupa pink bikini

Yep, wet swimsuit material and heavy metal chains = that thing ain't stayin' in place.

Along those same sartorial lines, my favorite Hollywood hot mess Mischa Barton is opening a clothing store in London this week. So she's been popping up all over the place after being mostly invisible the entire summer.

She showed up in an adorable little sundress recently. The operative word here being "little" --

mischa barton sundress now with more booty

I would think someone so fashion forward as Mischa would be a bit more aware of the limitations of that outfit. I mean, unless she likes hanging her booty out there for the world to see.

You think . . . nah, couldn't be that.

A Dance with Dragons - a ponderation

a dance with dragons

Plus my thoughts on the entire Song of Fire and Ice set of books and the HBO series Game of Thrones.

I was aware of George R.R. Martin's work, though I had never read any of it.  I was captivated, like a lot of people, by HBO's adaptation of the quadrilogy and decided to read up and get ahead so I could enjoy and kibbutz about their production.

I don't get a lot of time to read, unfortunately, but I do enjoy it.  And I'm one of those types who starts a book, then stops everything else in their life while they read it -- up to 2:00 in the morning night after night, dishes don't get washed, laundry doesn't get done, just come home from work and read into the wee hours.

For sci-fi stuff, I'm a Harlan Ellison kind of guy.  Plus I've naturally gone through the Dune trilogy, plus the after books, and the prequels written by Herbert's son and Kevin J. Anderson.

And for horror -- only Clive Barker will do.  Read The Great and Secret Show first, got caught up in a book that started in the dead letter office of the PO in Omaha, and it was love.  Imajica, Weaveworld, Everville, the Books of Blood . . . what amazing imagery!  And fantastic characters too!

I mention these to point out that I've been through more than a couple dedicated reads in my day.  But nothing like Martin's opus here.  The SoFI is so dense, so heavily leaden with detail and narrative that it can be overwhelming.  I saw some reviews that refered to the books as 700 page doorstops.  More like 1000 page doorstops to be honest!  But that's not a complaint.  They do at times read like a college kid filling out a word count on a term paper -- do we really need to know every ingredient of every dish at every feast?  But I appreciate Martin creating a total environment for the story.  You do get immersed into the story with all that dense narrative.

My sister, who is a book reading machine, could not get into the books, which is a shame as I had hoped to have someone to chat with about them.  But I wear my completion of the books so far as a badge of honor.

That all said -- I'm mildly disappointed at where we've left off after five novels.  I had hoped for some sort of resolution after 5000+ pages of narration, but we're essentially at the same point we were after the Iron Throne was emptied by Robert Baratheon's death.

I'm not going to do a bunch of spoilers here, but I warned my sister when she started the books, not to get too attached to any of the characters, because Martin shows an almost perverse glee in killing characters off or taking sympathetic characters and putting them in one lost cause after another.

When reading the third book -- A Storm of Swords, I reached a point halfway through and thought "That's it, I'm done." I wasn't going to finish the series because I was so disappointed in what Martin had done to several of the characters I felt were worth rooting for.  He rebounded with a fury towards the end of the book with some satisfying episodes and I thought "Okay, he's got me for the next book."

While reading A Feast for Crows, the fourth book, I began thinking I had finally broken through the dense storytelling and was more easily following Martin's narrative.  Turns out that while writing the book, he realized it was way too large to put in one novel, so he broke the story into two parts.  His choice was either covering all the characters with half their stories, or covering half the characters with all their story.  He chose the latter, which is why the book is so much easier to read than the ones published before it.

The fifth book, A Dance with Dragons, covers the remaining characters for about half the book, then melds into a sort of real-time story.  The title gives some clue as to a bit of the story, and I won't spoil it here for anyone, but like I said, 959 pages later (hardcover) and I'm just throwing my hands up.

Almost nothing is resolved.  No one seems to have made any progress, and what little progress has been made, seems to have regressed.  I can appreciate the fact that Martin isn't tipping his pitches here, not making the easy path to resolution obvious to the reader.  But come on, man!  The characters that got wiped out (at least it appears they've been killed, no telling for sure), the ones that are left, and a bunch of new players brought into the story in the final pages, a few brutal sequences with female characters . . .

Just terribly frustrating to this reader.  I'll buy the next one, to be sure, because I'm going to see this story through if it kills me.  But throw a reader a bone here George.  Please?

I'm wondering how many more books Martin is planning for this tale.  I read somewhere that it was looking like seven novels, which makes sense to me.  Because there's no way he can reconcile these storylines in one more novel, no matter how dense he makes it.

As to HBO's adaptation of the series -- I'm wondering how long they'll keep with it.  What's the lifespan for the cable series? I'm thinking five years, max.  And that's only if they can keep everyone interested.  Plus you never know with HBO.  Their blatant liberal political leanings have infested even this production as witnessed by the infantile gesture of using a mannequin head of George Bush on a spike in one of the episodes, then bragging about it like prebubescent schoolchildren in the dvd extras.  They'll be running their factually challenged movies like Game Change, Fair Game, and Recount in heavy rotation for the next eight years along with the laughable Newsroom and mean-sprited Veep as in-kind political donations.  But they may not want to clog their airtime with a long running series.

And there's the actor's aging problem as well.  Many of the characters in the book are very young.  And HBO has had to cast older actors in the roles to make it more palatable for the tv viewer -- who would be able to watch an 8 year old Arya stab that fat kid to death, or watch as a 13 year old Sansa be beaten by the Kingsguard on Joffrey's orders?  With the actress, Maisie Williams, cast as Arya already 15, it's going to be a stretch to have her stay true to the books when she's so much older than her character -- just can't picture Cat o' the canals as a 20 year old. Same with Bran.  The actor playing Hodor, is going to have a tough time toting around a full-grown teenager on his back.

On the other end of the spectrum -- Iain Glen who portrays Jorah Mormont is a little long in the tooth already, and it's going to be tough to have him appear to be a hulking, deadly swordsman 5+ years from now when he's pushing 60.

maisie williams & iain glen

It's going to take Martin a few years to finish off this story.  I just don't see HBO seeing it through to the end.  The critically acclaimed Deadwood only lasted two seasons.  The follow up movie never came to pass.  Rome, another of my favorite series, also only lasted two seasons.  And no dearth of history to stop production on that one.

So I think that those of us who are enjoying the cable adaptation of these books are going to be left hanging.  HBO hasn't hesitated to butcher Martin's story where they thought necessary -- Dany in Qarth, the attack on King's Landing, Jon's ranging beyond the wall, etc., so they may not hesitate to either rush this to some sort of conclusion in another season or two without waiting for Martin to actually write the story out or cut it abruptly off.  More's the pity.

That's what I think, anyway.

Ryan wins Veepstakes

So it appears Paul Ryan is Mittins choice for VP.

I, personally, like Ryan and his budget ideas.  But wouldn't a cabinet position have been a better place for him to work on our fiscal problems?  He'll be good in debates and have a better platform to push his budget reform, but what about all that talk, on both sides, about being ready to lead?  Wasn't that everyone's knock on Sarah Palin?  Even former VP Dick Cheney was giving a left-handed slam at Sarah for not being Oval Office material due to her lack of executive experience.

Oh well.

At least there's a team in place now.

btw, here's a vid of Ryan showing just what a bunch of lying liars Dems like the execrable Debbie Wasserman-Schultz are when talking about the budget:


Game on!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Rule 5 Sunday -- brought to you by the letter E

elizabeth berkley

E this week stands for exhausted . . . enervated . . . lacking in energy and enthusiasm -- basically I'm pooped! Much too old to be working this hard.

But not my Rule 5 lovelies, who effortlessly bring the hotness 24/7 :-)

*click on the thumbnails for full-sized images*

eliza dushkuellaeva mendes emmy rossumelisha cuthbertelizabeth rohm elizabeth hurleyemma watsonemma griffiths

Rule 5 Sunday suggested by this.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Tony Stewart wins at Daytona

stewart wins the coke zero 400

Tony Stewart won the Coke Zero 400 last night at Daytona International Speedway.

Getting a push from Hendrick driver Kasey Kahne on the two lap sprint to the finish, Stewart managed to slip in front of Matt Kenseth and hold on for the win as the field devolved into one of NASCAR's desirable big crashes.

The win gives Tony three victories this season to tie him with Brad Kesolewski and keep Stewart solidly in the standings for the season ending chase that begins in September.

That said . . .

This is going to be me calling out NASCAR once again on their stupidity.

I saw a bit in the paper where Mike Helton was responding to a track owner suggesting NASCAR throw a caution every ten laps to keep the field tight during races. Helton said he didn't want NASCAR to be too gimmicky.

?!?!

This from the same people who have GoodYear bring new tires to a race and refuse to allow drivers/teams to test with them? The same people who have impound races that keep teams from adjusting their cars when the weather changes prior to the race? The same people who turned Daytona into a one groove track where all the winner has to do is get on the bottom and no one can pass them? The same people who throw mystery cautions for a piece of tissue paper at the end of a race if the leader is too far out in front?

During the race, Kyle Petty did his best to defend NASCAR's rule changes that killed the two car tandem racing that was so thrilling and unpredictable the last couple of years. I still would like to know exactly who was complaining about that. They say it was the fans. I say it was NASCAR, who wants big pack racing and massive wrecks to keep eyes glued to the race.

Oh well, congrats to Tony and I'm glad no one was seriously injured in the last couple of big wrecks in the race. NASCAR got lucky there.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4th of July!

Cause nothing says America like an insanely voluptuous legal immigrant running through the desert holding the Stars & Stripes:

jordan carver july 4th

Happy Independence day to my one or two dedicated readers. Try not to lose any limbs/fingers via fireworks or burn anything down whilst barbequing today.

And for a little retro patriotic goodness:

raquel welch

Monday, July 2, 2012

Rule 5 Monday -- brought to you by the letter D

denise richards

After surviving tropical storm Debbie, we deliver, appropriately, some delightful and delectable demioselles from the D directory.

Well, it seemed clever when I wrote it . . .

*click on the thumbnails for full-sized images*

donna derricodoira bairddanica mckellar danielle lloyddominique swaindoutzen kroes daphne deckersdrew barrymoredebbie gibson

Rule 5 Sunday suggested by this.