Friday, February 12, 2016

Movie review -- Deadpool

deadpool movie review

Check this out -- I'm doing a movie review on a movie that's not only in theaters now, it is premiering tonight! Siskel & Ebert? pfooey!

Anyway, if you're an adult like me (why are you laughing?) and a comic fan, you've probably found any number of the many comic adaptations to be a bitter disappointment, either by eviscerating the mythology of the characters, or the watered-down intensity of the theatrical release in comparison to the comic itself.

After fanboys rioted over the portrayal of Deadpool in the X-Men origins story a few years back, Ryan Reynolds got together with a writer and director and talked about the potential of a movie that hewed more closely to the outrageous character of the comic version of Deadpool. They worked hard, going for an R rating right out of the gate and the result is in theaters now.

So here we go:

If you've seen any of the trailers, you've got the basic backstory and plot. It goes a bit like this -- Wade Wilson is a former special ops soldier, discharged (dishonorably?) from the service, he now works as a mercenary. Not one of the high-profile romanticized types who overthrow governments and do daring rescue operations around the world . . . no, Wilson is more of a hired muscle kind of guy. The sort who takes whatever a woman can scrape together and then goes and puts the fear of God into some dude who's been stalking/harassing her. The frightening insanity of his approach seems to do wonders in this.

He hangs/works out of an underground bar sort of place -- think the basement club in the Continental from John Wick except without the classy music, booze, and clientele. The bar has a tote board on the wall, where the various mercs place bids on who will die next and aren't above setting a comrade up in order to win a few bucks.

Wilson meets a hooker named Vanessa, played by the wonderful Morena Baccarin, and after an awkward initial meeting find they are strikingly similar in humor and disposition. Their tastes in sardonic wit, sarcasm and raucous, raunchy sex has Wilson musing that he could have created Vanessa with a computer. Their year long courtship, set to the song Calendar Girl is often hilarious as various holidays are celebrated, sexually, with the appropriate form of intercourse. Chinese New Year? Uh oh, it's the Year of the Dog! You know where that's going.

And so on.

Life's perfect for Wade, so naturally, the sky falls on him. He gets cancer. With a capital C. Or as he refers to it "El Cancer" as they call it in Mexico. Despairing over his fate, Wilson gets a meet from a mysterious man. Played by Jed Rees, with his worminess dialed up to eleven, Agent Smith, as Wilson snarkily calls him, gives him the Six Million Dollar Man riff -- we can cure you, make you better, give you super powers, yada, yada . . .

After much anguished pondering, Wilson goes ahead with "The Cure." But of course, it's not that simple. The Cure may be worse than the cancer itself. And the torturous procedure is performed by two of those who have already gone through it. Ajax, an oily euro-trash sort, played by Ed Skrein, has increased strength and no pain receptors left in his body from the procedure. His assistant, Angel, played by a bulky Gina Carano, has nearly superhuman strength and may be slightly indestructible. Together they apply the procedure to Wilson with sadistic glee.

As Wilson endures, and continues to annoy the two with his smart-mouth wise cracks, Ajax and Angel begin to hope Wilson dies instead of passing through the entirety of the process. But he does not die. His survival leaves him nearly indestructible, he regenerates tissue and body parts at a hyper-accelerated pace. But his body and face are scarred nearly beyond recognition. As his friend Weasel, played by T.J. Miller, points out -- he's hauntingly ugly.

Wilson can't go back to Vanessa looking like a monster, so he sets out to find Ajax, who made an off-hand remark about being able to reverse Wilson's disfigurement.

From here on out, it's a story of Wilson, slowly morphing into the Deadpool character via the evolving costume, butchering his way through the mysterious organization's personnel on his way to Ajax himself. Along the way there, Deadpool runs afoul of the X-Men, in the persons of Colossus and his trainee Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Yeah . . . don't ask me.

The X-Men want Deadpool to use his abilities for good, stop killing people, and so on. He basically tells them to go f*ck themselves. It's not until late in the story, when Ajax kidnaps Vanessa to get leverage over him that Deadpool goes back to Colossus and enlists their help.

Pretty much everything there is found in the trailers, so I'm not spoiling anything for you if you're reading this. Plus, let's face it, this isn't The Sixth Sense, or The Usual Suspects or some movie with a big reveal at the end, it's an action flick based on a comic book. It's supposed to be a fun ride, and man, is it ever.

A bit about the tone of the movie. From the opening credits, literally (and I do mean literally), the irreverential tone for the movie is set. The writers and Reynolds poke fun at everything from Reynold's rep as a pretty boy, to his various turns in other superhero movies, with Green Lantern and the first incarnation of Deadpool getting a lot of brutal snark, to the X-Men and Hugh Jackman on multiple occasions. One of the things the comic version of Deadpool was known for was breaking the fourth wall, that is, speaking directly to the reader. You get that here in a variety of ways. Including the self-awareness that they're making a movie.

There's an exchange covered in Entertainment Weekly that illustrates this nicely. Colossus tells Deadpool at one point that they should "speak to Professor X" about his situation. Deadpool responds by asking if he means MacAvoy or Stewart because all the timelines make it confusing to know which one he means.

The fight scenes are gloriously brutal and bloody and messy. The cgi and special effects are pretty seamless with only a few instances where it's obvious they're using cg instead of actual folks. The Colossus character is entirely cg and voiced by Stefan Kapicic and is a high point for me. One of my many complaints with the X-Men movies is the ignoring of the Colossus character. Nice to see him fleshed out, so to speak, for an extended period of a movie.

There's a ton of bad language in the film, as I jokingly told one person, it should have a F*cking Language Warning! because it is salty beyond belief. There's also nudity, as in a long strip club scene, that has a cameo appearance that had folks in my theater actually applauding and plenty of simulated sex between Wilson and Vanessa. Like I said, they went R right out of the gate and didn't look back.

It's funny in a lot of ways, from sight gags to situations to just how Deadpool responds to things and the smart-ass stuff he says. There were plenty of times I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard during the movie. You can't take your young kids to this movie. Like the Watchmen movie a few years back (perhaps my favorite comic adaptation) this is an adult film made for adults but based on a comic book character.

It's a definite must see if you love this genre, and I highly recommend it.

A few small afterwords. At one point in the movie, Deadpool is living with a blind black lady he meets in a Laundromat. Watching the credits, I saw that the black lady was played by Leslie Uggams. Wow. You'd have to be as old as me to know who that is, but back in the 60s, she was on every television variety show there was. A singer, dancer, actress -- stage and screen, she was big time. What a fun place to see her turn up after all these years. They could have gotten anyone to play that role, I wonder why she was chosen.

Also, the director, Tim Miller, says there will definitely be a director's cut of the movie released with more violence, gore, etc. I cannot wait. The theatrical release is 1h 48m. I wonder how much more stuff didn't make it into the final edit. Also a Deadpool 2 is supposedly in the works.

There's also talk of bringing Deadpool back into the X-Men universe for future movies. With Disney in control of that francise, I cannot imagine how they could bring this character in without sanitizing it to the point where it loses it's identity. If that's the option, I hope it does not come to pass.

In lieu of a gallery of hotness, here's some character profiles released by the studio during the promotional run up to the premiere:


Did you find this review helpful? Check out my other reviews for my thoughts on the flicks and the occasional gallery of hotness that accompanies them:

Thursday, February 11, 2016

I think this bears mentioning

Jeb Bush was on Megyn Kelly's show last night. After unsuccessfully trying to get Bush to explain why he's wasting money trying to destroy Marco Rubio and John Kasich while Trump waltzes untouched to the nomination, she brought up the subject of Trump's continuing vulgarity whilst campaigning.

Jeb, or course, doesn't go for that, he really is a decent guy, but Megyn played a clip of Trump from another network where he was saying that he'll be totally different once he gets in the White House. He said he's just doing what he has to do while campaigning.


I thought the whole point of this voter uprising was that we were supposedly tired of candidates saying one thing and then doing another once in office. I thought we wanted authentic candidates who portrayed themselves and their beliefs honestly. Not someone who is doing what he has to do to get the job.

This isn't the first time I've heard Trump in an interview say he won't be anything like his campaign persona once he gets in office. I thought that's why everyone was voting for him -- his brash, tell-it-like-it-is un-p.c. style. So which is it Donald?

He's also already backed off on the outsider meme a bit saying he would have to be a little bit mainstream to get things done once he's in Washington.

Am I the only one hearing this stuff? Where are all these vaunted political experts, bloggers, and pundits on this? Where are all the campaign and debate advisors? There's enough ammunition from Trump's own vulgar mouth to puncture this guy's aura as real and make this a proper race for the nomination.

Between his flip-flops on a lifetime of political ideology to his constant contradictions during this campaign, there's more than enough to show this pretender for what he is. Get with it guys.

Thank you Hammer! On tonight's Special Report during the panel segment Charles Krauthammer pointed out that you could take a just shown clip of Donald Trump saying that "I can become anything I want" and pair it with his statements on every political/sociological position he has ever held and holds now and show how he's not anywhere near as authentic as he claims to be.

Effin' finally! I wonder if he's been reading my blog? heh

Plus-sized models need love too. Lucy Collett has always been a full-figured gal, but she seems to have put a bit more weight on recently. Still very pretty, she's got the curvy thing going big time now. No complaints here, I like it:

lucy collett lingerie

Hmmm . . . I think I've got a Rule 5 post in the making here :-)

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Disappointed, but not totally unexpected

Carly Fiorina announced she was suspending her campaign today. I always wonder why they call it suspending, I suppose it sounds better than quitting.

She spoke defiantly after the NH voting, saying she was going to continue on, having established campaigns in multiple states. I'm assuming that with the next debate coming up and it already being made clear she wasn't going to get an invite, Carly saw the uphill battle ahead of her. Kind of a pity, I would have liked to see how she would have managed if she had survived a bit more of the field's winnowing.

I've said before that the idea of a Rubio/Fiorina ticket is appealing to me. I would be amused if we hear news of Marco reaching out to her at some point and Carly beginning to turn up at some Rubio events or acting as his proxy on the stump.

Of course, it's already been news that Christie has dropped out. Prof. Jacobsen characterized Christie's attack during the debate as a murder/suicide and others have spoken out about Christie taking down Rubio simply out of spite -- supposedly their campaigns have bad blood between them, but frankly, this is the first I've heard of it and I'm paying pretty close attention to this race.

In the conspiracy theory department -- I see where Christie had a long talk with Trump prior to leaving NH. Trump's got money tied up in NJ, Christie can't run for Governor again . . . would I be surprised if Christie suddenly started stumping for Trump? That Christie's name suddenly started turning up in a supposed Trump administration? VP? Attorney General?

There's already been some quiet whispers about Trump buying political support -- I'm looking at you Sarah, so the notion that there was some quid-pro-quo between Trump and Christie to get the more electable Rubio out of the way is not all that far-fetched to me.

Other odd bits . . .

Supposedly Jeb's super pac is going for the scorched earth campaign to finish off the wounded Rubio. Kasich also, but who is possibly taking him seriously as a long term candidate?

Some are hinting that Rubio's bad performance against Christie was due to exhaustion. There are reports that his campaign pushed him way too far and hard in trying to capitalize on his third place finish in Iowa -- reports of a tired and lethargic looking Rubio at various events prior to the debate may lend some credence to that. I think that's what took Huck down in the 08 primaries -- he just wore himself out an made a bunch of unforced errors that killed his campaign.

Also some news of an Anybody but Trump super pac springing up with the sole purpose of taking out Donald Trump. They're claiming some responsibility for Trump's bad showing in Iowa (bad as in lower than expected), but no one seems to be able to offer concrete proof of that. They're not endorsing any single candidate, but rather just want Trump off the stage so a more traditional candidate can coalesce the party. I'm thinking the idea here is to fight a proxy battle against Trump to save the various other contenders from dealing with Trump's oddly effective counter-attacks.

And just for good measure, I'm going to once again mention my complete disgust for conservative media of all sorts. I caught some of Laura Ingraham the other night. She has spoken out against National Review for their Against Trump edition. And to watch her almost gleefully point out that the outsider Trump had won NH makes me wonder if she has given any thought to what a Trump Presidency would do to this country. And that's assuming he won. Which according to the polls say he would not. Would Ingraham, Bolling, Hannity and others have the Republican party turn into the embodiment of the characterizations the left levels against us? A bunch of knuckle-dragging, uneducated, zenophobic, racists and bigots? Is it so important to have enough juicy news to drive your tv or blog ratings that you're willing to push this country into sewer?

Shame on all of you.

Speaking of shame on you, this pic appeared in a Twitter feed about the preparations for a Clinton rally:

Hillary Clinton respects the American flag


Tuesday, February 9, 2016

With one third of the vote in . . .

. . . I can safely say that the voters of New Hampshire are complete f*cking idiots!

On the Democrat side, 60% of voters want a full-on socialist whose plan to give everyone everything for free will add $15trillion to the national debt in 10 years and will, by his own words, rely on tax hikes for the middle class to pay for all the give-aways.

Ooh, yeah, let's put this bozo in the White House.

But not to be outdone, the Republican voters (and yes, I know it's an open primary so people can vote across party lines) have also dropped 60+% of the vote on three candidates who don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning the fall election. Trump gets 34% Kasich gets 16% and Bush gets 12%.

And yes, you don't have to mention it, I know everything I said in the previous post turned out to be wrong. This is why I'm a mailman and not a professional political pundit. But seriously?! Trump at 34%?! That just boggles my mind. I know NH is a very liberal state, so maybe that's why even Republican voters would turn out so heavily to vote for a progressive liberal masquerading as a conservative. But wow.

And Kasich doesn't even have the money or manpower to run a nationwide campaign. Why are you wasting your vote on him? He's basically going to close up shop until the Ohio primary then hope to win that. Then what?

And no one wants another Bush v Clinton match-up in November.


What are you folks thinking? Are you so interested in being contrary that you'll give momentum to an ass-clown like Trump? You'll waste votes on Kasich? At least you could have voted for Ted Cruz. I'm still mystified by Rubio's fall. Most accounts of the debate point out that he had an excellent debate except for that one exchange with Christie. You walked away over that? Rick Perry famously stated that we aren't trying to elect the debater-in-chief here.

I suppose the real victory here is for the media. They carried the robotic meme 24/7 after the debate and I guess that'll stick with Marco to the end because they won't let it go now. And poor Carly, who's ahead of Carson but just behind Christie -- where might she have placed if she hadn't been given the cold shoulder by ABC?

I've been wrong about pretty much everything today, but I'm guessing that the media will be doing victory laps after stopping Rubio's momentum. They flexed their muscles. It'll be interesting to see what happens now that they have some momentum.

Oh yeah . . . hey New Hampshire -- f*ck you!

So, what can we expect in today's New Hampshire primary?

I'm going to be very interested in the final results of today's NH primary. Firstly, because it has been my position for a while that these poll numbers for Donald Trump simply don't reflect actual votes in the end. Folks, like myself, made a big deal of Trump finishing second in Iowa, but his final percentage -- 22%, I think more accurately reflects his actual support at the moment in the process. It's my belief that, much like Ron Paul before him, fans are more than willing to answer a phone call and enjoy tweaking the process/establishment but when it comes to actually voting for a leader of the country reality sets in for them.

I won't be surprised if Trump finishes second again. It's a long shot, but not out of the realm of possibility.

Polls for Rubio are mixed. Some show him in second place, some as low as fourth. I, personally, would like to see him win NH, and that is not out of the realm of possibility either. There are suggestions out there that Chris Christie's (currently languishing at 5% in the polls) bullying of Rubio in the debate may have helped Marco. His campaign reports a surge in fundraising after the debate, and to his credit, Rubio has not backed down from his stance and has, at least in my mind, done a decent job of explaining why he kept repeating that talking point.

I doubt Cruz will finish higher than third. His poll numbers seem rather unchanged in all this. The Govs are a different matter. As I mentioned, for all his bluster about Rubio, Christie is still at the bottom of the field, actually behind Carly Fiorina, who I think may finish better than expected. She's third in events attended among the candidates and ABC's decision to keep her off the stage may work in her favor, in the same way Rubio's attack by Christie seems to be working for him. I won't be surprised if she finishes ahead of Jeb, Christie, and Carson.

After all the money and effort spent, it seems Jeb is still not going anywhere and a poor finish here is going to have some real navel searching for his campaign. Same for Ben Carson. At some point he has to realize he's not going to finish out of the cellar in this campaign and the endless stories of people jumping ship should start scaring even voters away from wasting votes on him.

Interestingly, I read stories earlier in the campaign that Carson wasn't actually trying to win the race, but instead, positioning himself for a consultant/paid speaker sort-of role down the road. That would be a terrible disappointment to find out after all the nice accolades from supporters that he was just as craven and materialistic as Trump.

But anyway, we should get a better, but by no means definitive, look at the electorate today. And I expect some big changes when it all is done.

And on the lighter side, here's Chloe Grace Moretz in a bikini:

chloe grace moretz bikini

Finally 18, I think she's having fun realizing there's some interest in seeing her in more grown up imagery if her various magazine layouts and twitter pics are any indication.

Monday, February 8, 2016

Super (?) Bowl 50

My reaction -- meh

I actually turned this game off in the third quarter. I'm very glad I didn't spend all day watching all the build-up to the game because it was dreadfully un-exciting. I don't mind defensive games, but offensive incompetence just doesn't do it for me.

After all the hype, Cam Newton looked totally unprepared for the moment. Every pass left his hands at 100 mph, he missed receivers all over the field. The few that managed to get open, that is. Thank goodness for Ted Ginn Jr. otherwise Carolina might never have scored in that game.

But about Newton, he looked like a total rookie out there. The ball stripping on the goal line -- he just stood there looking confused while the lineman casually plucked the ball out of his hands. This is the quarterback we're all supposed to be afraid of? His words, not mine. And why did he look completely exhausted by the end of the first quarter? You could see it on his face. Even the sideline reporter asked about whether Newton had received treatment or IV's during halftime. Something was definitely not right there.

As to Peyton Manning, I should congratulate him on the win, he can now retire on top with a nice comeback story to cement his legacy in the NFL. He looked remarkably good, considering just a few weeks ago he was shot putting the ball all over the field and looked like a twenty yard pass was too much for him. There are rumors of hgh use floating around him, and I was amused by various sports reporters trying to minimize such usage. Let's be clear here -- hgh is a steroid, it's illegal to use without a doctor and it's a banned substance in sports, that's why old guys like you and I can't get this stuff to help stave off the ravages of aging.

But whatever, Manning was the better qb in the game and Carolina lost to Denver 24-10 in what to me was a robustly uninteresting game.

The halftime show was a mess in my humble opinion. Not so much the performances but the god-awful sound mixing. I don't know about you, but I couldn't hear a word coming out of Chris Martin, Beyoncé or Bruno Mars' microphones. And I've got a pretty top notch sound system at home. Always fun to watch Mars perform, and am I wrong or did Beyoncé almost fall down at one point? But like the game, the halftime show was a bit meh also primarily because of the muddy sound.

Didn't see a lot of great commercials either. The Doritos one was typically boundary pushing for them. I don't know, but the fact I'm sitting here the morning after struggling to remember any of them kind of says it for me.

If you were into it all, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. But for me, I'm glad that I didn't make the effort to make a day of it. Just kind of disappointed.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Hilary Duff in a bikini = solidly awesome

hilary duff bikini maui

My newly single Duffster is continuing her attention grabbing tour by taking a little vacay in Maui and giving the paps a good look at her taut full-figured goodness:

hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui

I read where Hilary had to pay her millionaire hockey playing husband, the son of millionaires, $2.5 million to finalize their divorce. That's a hell of a pre-nup, and sort of makes me wonder if the dude that wrote it was actually working for Hilary.

hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui
hilary duff bikini maui