Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Movie review - 6 Underground

6 underground movie poster/review

Ever wonder what the Deadpool movies would look like if Michael Bay directed them? Well here's your chance with this little Netflix number starring Ryan Reynolds and written by the creator of the Deadpool comic, Paul Wernick and co-written by Rhett Reese, one of the co-writers of the Deadpool flicks.

Here Reynolds reprises his role as the Merc with a mouth stars as the billionaire with a mouth -- an inventor/tech/software genius type guy who looks at the world and wonders about all the icky people roaming around free to do awful things without consequence. He finds that simply being rich won't help him change all that. So he decides to form a team to do the dirty work he deems necessary without all that pesky due process and vetted intel getting in the way.

Being brilliant and all, he has this great idea for his team -- no names, only numbers, that way no one can compromise another team member, and if someone is caught or killed? Well, that's hard cheese old man, and he'll just bring in someone to replace them and give them the next number in line. Foreshadowing 101 -- you know that's going to come back to haunt him at some point.

So Reynolds is number 1 of course. Number 2 is a leggy, busty, blonde female killer spy type that has become ubiquitous over the last couple of years. Think Atomic Blonde, Red Sparrow, Black Widow, Anna, Hanna (okay, Saoirse Ronan isn't leggy or busty, but she is blonde, so ...), The Courier, etc.

Number 3 is a doctor. Female, hot, sort of ethnic looking, it took me a while to realize where I had seen her in film before. She played Jules, the sorta love interest of the sorta main characters in that execrable Pacific Rim: Uprising flick.

But so far, so good, we've got a rich brainy guy running the show, a talented killer/spy and a doctor. Now we get to number 4. Some Brit kid who's good (I'll get to that later) at parkour. ?!?!?! Now I'm not rich or brainy and I didn't spend last night in a Holiday Inn Express, but if I'm putting together a team to do covert wetworks and such, a dude whose skillset is running and jumping off crazy places is not only not high on my list, it isn't on the list at all. But if I'm a director looking to make cool action sequences, well . . . it makes sense. So he's in.

The next guy, number 5, is a straight up Mexican hitman. Played by the guy who played a straight up Mexican outlaw in the Antoine Fuqua remake of The Magnificent Seven. He plays the same role here, only better English and hygiene.

Number 6 is the driver. Good idea. Think Baby Driver without the shades and soundtrack. So the team is set, we get their intros during the opening sequence of the film.

And oh my, that opening sequence. After 13 years of making big robot movies where his actors run around shrieking at green screens that a team of geeks in Malaysia will fill with cgi mayhem in post production, Bay gets a chance to work with practical special effects and he's like a kid on a sugar high in the world's biggest toy store.

The car chase goes on for a really long time. The crashes are epic and wildly destructive, bad guys are dispatched with gorey bloody excess and all the while Reynolds runs what has become his patented acting style of panicky screamed dialog mixed with profanity and clever sarcasm.

The sequence finally ends with one of the characters dying. So Reynolds has to recruit another number. This one is a disaffected military sniper who watched in frustration as a suicide bomber blew up a compound with his comrades in it because his superiors wouldn't give him the green light on a kill shot. Reynolds brings this guy on board with the promise he'll never tell him not to pull the trigger. Yeah, about that foreshadowing . . .

So the team is now set. They have a cool hideout in one of those airplane graveyards Bay likes so much. Funny how we never see people sweating like pigs inside those old airplane bodies that would be over 140 degrees on a summer day. Or watch the rain pour through all the holes in the rusted hulks, or . . . well, you get my drift.

Number 7 learns, to his horror, that this team he just sacrificed everything to join (all the team members have their id's erased and are officially dead to the world now) is still on their first mission, and pretty much everything went wrong so far which lead to the car chase/crash that got him here.

The actual mission? A murderous corrupt dictator in Somewhereistan is gassing his own people and doing other awful things while he keeps his benign brother captive on the other side of the world in a sumptuous penthouse prison. So, break out the brother, orchestrate a rebellion, depose the dictator and install the nice guy on the throne. Simple, no?

No.

Along the way lots of action and big sweeping vistas. Lots of Bay's trademark explosions. Everything foreshadowed earlier in the film comes to bear. Bay uses a technique during some shots of literally highlighting what he wants you to pay attention to and I'm not sure if it's him being lazy or just having fun. The getaway car in the opening sequence is neon green in a sea of black chase cars. Number 3 enters a building in a skin tight neon yellow dress while everyone else is dressed in black or dark colors. Made me chuckle a bit.

Number 4's expertise in parkour comes into question as he can't outrun four thugs in business suits as he scampers across rooftops and scaffolding and such. And Reynolds vacillates between comically inept panickiness and a deadly skillset to the point that number 7, after watching Reynolds effortlessly dispatch someone who caught him by surprise speaks for the audience when he says over the coms that "someone has to explain to me where that came from." My answer would be that the writers/star/director couldn't decide what exactly they wanted Reynolds character to be.

Anyways, there's a cool sequence on a luxury yacht towards the end. Everything works out for the best. We see in the opening bit at the hideout that Reynolds character has identified either 10 or 11 people that have to be dealt with. Nice set up, but I doubt we'll see 10 more of these.

Is it worth your time? If you've got Netflix, you've already paid for it. And compared to some of the other drivel there that passes for movies, you could do a lot worse. No nudity, some PG-13 sex (which surprises me for an R rated film made by a guy like Bay who isn't shy about exploiting hot women in his movies), and plenty of bad language.

All in all, it's more of a curiosity watch for me. And I would imagine anyone else. I wouldn't recommend going out of your way for it. And since it's basically a made-for-tv flick, I won't be including it with my regular movie review menu. Check it out. Feel free to comment below if you like.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Friday, November 1, 2019

Math is hard

I haven't had a weekday off in a while. So as a treat to myself, I went by Dunkin Donuts to pick up a half dozen donuts for the weekend.

No, I wasn't going to eat them all by myself in one sitting. sheesh

Anyway, I pull up to the window and there's a large, sort of doughy and effeminate young man in a bandana at the register, totally flustered. He waves his arms around for a minute and then asks me to repeat my order. I do and he smiles thankfully to me. The price is $6.09

I hand him a $20 bill and one dime. He turns back to the register and types away.

Then he hands me the dime back. And I'm thinking he's just grace-ing me the nine cents, which is a bit ridiculous (I worked fast food for a while and a penny or two is one thing, anything over that and you're asking for trouble), but I took it and wondered where this was going.

Next come the donuts. And then the kicker.

He gives me $14.02 in change.

?!?!?!

I triple counted the bills because I was half expecting to find out he gave me a five instead of a ten, but he didn't and I just drove home, amazed at the whole experience.

How can you f*ck up a transaction like that? I get that he was having a flustery day though I wasn't sure why since there was no line at the drive through, but maybe it was his first day or something. I'm not unsympathetic. But the register gives you the correct change when you ring in what the customer gave you.

Is this where our educational system is taking us? Who's going to build rockets and solve science mysteries and create medicines when we're churning out young folks who can't make change. Being a superstar with your smart phone doesn't actually make you smart, you know?

*sigh*

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Celebrity blind of the day

"It didn't take [long for] the alliterate former actress turned escort to find a new 'boyfriend.' As I have told you for the past year, the men have been much older than herself because the men her age are going way younger."

The clue here is "alliterate former actress turned escort" as that is CDAN's shorthand for Lindsay Lohan, who for the past couple of years has been sorta pimping herself out to various sheiks and sultans and such in the middle east who want an American movie star on their arms regardless of how far her star has fallen.

Supposedly Linds might turn up on that Masked Singer show this season, so that might end up being interesting. Especially if she were to win. She actually had some singing talent back in the day and frankly, she had potential as an actress too. Kinda sad how she went off the rails.

Be funny if this blind is revealed to be someone else.

lindsay lohan topless terry richardson
lindsay lohan topless terry richardson
lindsay lohan ass terry richardson
lindsay lohan nude playboy
lindsay lohan topless ny mag
lindsay lohan nipple terry richardson

Need a definition for hypocrisy?

dem hypocrisy on climate emergency

All 17 Democrat contenders for President descended on Iowa this weekend and at one point had a Steak Fry where they grilled 10,500 steaks and hamburgers for attendees.

Got that?!

The same party that is shaming you for eating meat, is threatening to levy a tax on beef to get you to stop eating it because, supposedly, even though they can't prove it, beef consumption is killing the planet. Spent the day dumping heaven only knows how much CO2 into the atmosphere whilst grilling planet killing beef.

If they're so concerned about the planet, why weren't they handing out tofu patties, or soy mush or some sort of protein gruel for their oh so righteous voters to consume so that they could show us troglodyte conservatives how to live properly.

As I said in the previous post, it's almost as if they don't actually believe their own bullsh*t!

Also, don't forget, they all flew private jets out to Iowa and are all staying in luxury hotels that aren't carbon neutral. So they've f*cked the planet even more according to their own rules.

Just a public service announcement for ya.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Let's talk about this "existential threat" for a moment

Yesterday was, of course, yet another climate strike by school children in effort to save the planet. Ever notice how they never do these strikes on a Wednesday? So they have to come back to school the next day and deal with the feedback from their noble efforts? Yeah, funny how they always make their sacrifice into a holiday weekend isn't it?

Anyway, here's my thing on this -- everyone is using the word existential about man-caused or anthropogenic climate change, though they drop the man-caused part because it is easier to bludgeon opponents into silence by claiming they are climate deniers as though people like myself deny climate exists or something. Orwell would be proud of this torturing of language. But I'm not sure existential is the right word to use. I suppose they mean it as relating to existence, but I'm still not sure if that's the right word. But my vocabulary isn't that overwhelming, so I could be wrong here.

But what we're hearing, from everyone on the left and all these poor children who've been terrorized by the liberal school system is that we have 10 to 15 years until the planet is dead. You've heard it -- we're one generation away from the Earth being unable to sustain life. Some of those kids were testifying in front of Congress (don't get me started on that) and saying we had mere months before the damage to the Earth was unrepairable. And so on.

Okay, let's start from that assumption. We would need to be on the brink of an apocalyptic level of destruction seen only in disaster movies. And with that coming in mere months or years, we should easily be able to point to a multitude of indicators that something is happening adversely to our planet.

So . . . point to something. Anything. I'll wait.

Yeah. Exactly. They can't. No one pushing this supposed threat can. They mouth scary scenarios and fancy words, but can't do anything but flap their gums.

We've heard the nonsense about the planet being on fire. What rubbish. Climate scientologists tried to point to the fires in the Amazon as proof, but that quickly got squashed as the news that those fires were mostly set by farmers prepping the land for the upcoming planting season.

We hear all the time about global temps rising. But how much are they actually rising? Let's look at some data:

global temps not rising

This graph shows global temperature trends from the 1850's through 2019. The grey lines with the wild divergences are the 12 month averages. They look crazy. And that shows what happens when you take only a small subset of data into account. Look at the dark blue line made from averaging temps over a ten year period. It's barely a ripple. And that's the point -- it's easy to jump to hysterical conclusions over short term trends. Also shown is that despite steadily climbing planetary CO2 levels, the global temps have barely risen. In fact, we've seen a slight cooling trend recently and with a Grand Solar Minimum starting, we may see even more cooling in the coming years or decades.

So as we've seen over and over again, from actual data, not hysterics on Twitter, CO2 is not acting as a greenhouse gas (as many reputable scientists have tried to point out and been shouted down by actors, musicians, tv pundits and other faux scientists) and warming the planet. We are just now coming out of a 25 year period that climate hysterics have referred to as The Pause because temps were flat-lined. The last couple of years have seen fluctuations of a fraction of a degree Celsius and actually within the margin of error. So no one can say with certainty that the planet is warming alarmingly.

We've heard for years that Arctic ice was melting at a dangerous rate. In 2007, Al Gore famously predicted there would be no polar ice in ten years. Well, here we are 12 years later and polar ice is still there, just ask those idiots who had to be rescued from their climate apocalypse excursion this week. In fact, we had record ice growth just two years ago and arctic ice is doing what it has always done for as long as we've been able to watch it -- it grows in winter and melts in summer. F*cking duh!

polar ice not disappearing

Moral coward Pete Buttigieg said in a recent Presidential Debate that there would be entire countries wiped off the map in a few short years because of rising sea levels. Really Pete? Okay, name one. *crickets chirping* Planetary sea levels have been rising that the same rate for 160 years -- 1.7mm per year. The rate of change for sea level rise is zero (for you math majors out there), that means the rate is not changing or accelerating, despite hysterical claims that it is. NOAA, NASA and other organizations that no one in their right mind would consider conservative leaning or Trump supporting verify this data. The former bartender with the bad boob job representing NY14 recently said we were on the verge of watching Miami disappear into the ocean because of climate change. Yeah, if you consider 896 years a "verge" then I guess we're on it. How serious are rising ocean levels? Well former President Obama just paid $15million for a waterfront mansion in Martha's Vineyard, so he doesn't seem too worried. Neither is Al Gore who also owns ocean front property. If they're so convinced we're facing an extinction level of global flooding, wouldn't they be buying homes in Montana or something. It's almost like they don't believe the bullsh*t they're dishing out to the rest of us.

But think about it, if catastrophic sea level rise is right on us, shouldn't we be seeing reports from somewhere that seas are encroaching on coastline cities? This isn't the frog in the pan of water here, with the temp slowly increased until it boils (and has anyone ever tested that old meme?), according to climate hysterics the water's already boiling and the frog is just hanging out doing the backstroke while he cooks. That's what the left and the children they've terrorized are claiming.

Bottom line, as I've posted time and again on this blog -- there are no increases in the number or severity of hurricanes, tornadoes or other extreme weather events. No increase in droughts or flooding. We are not setting record highs or lows at an unprecedented rate. The planet is doing what it has always done -- change, fluctuate, evolve . . . a living ecosystem that has thrived for millennia, and there is absolutely no evidence anything we are doing is adversely changing that. No matter how loud the socialist left yells.

And though there is no evidence that current CO2 levels are harming the environment, there is data showing benefit of more food for plant life on Earth:

rising global CO2 feeds the planet

NASA satellite imagery is showing a distinct greening of the planet as plants, that feed on CO2, are flourishing everywhere, rebuilding forests and increasing vegetation worldwide. Current planetary CO2 levels are no where near historic highs that occurred during the age of prehistoric era, and I am certainly not advocating pumping metric tons of CO2 into the atmosphere willy nilly, but seeing as how the US has already reduced it's carbon emissions and the rest of the world that signed onto that stupid Climate Treaty are violating it like crazy, perhaps Presidential candidates and students and climate hysterics might want to look at those who aren't acting as responsible stewards of the planet.

The long and short of it is that there really isn't some looming disaster here. And it's a shame that intelligent people are so invested in a political agenda that they are pushing this scam. There are no food shortages, there is no water shortage, lifespans have increased, we have access to living conditions beyond the wildest dreams of those living just a century ago. Sure, there are sh*tholes in the world. And each one of them run by totalitarian governments that starve their populations while hoarding resources for the leaders and elites of those countries.

And not surprisingly, that's what those calling for these draconian changes want in this country. AOC's own chief of staff stated that their Green New Deal was never about climate change but rather a way to implement the socialist economy they envisioned for the country. Ever since the first nonsense about anthropogenic climate change came out, opponents have tried to warn that it was more about wealth redistribution than anything else. Wealth redistribution and total control over our lives. Listen to the Democratic candidates as they tell you they're going to tell you what to eat, take away your car, take away your heating and a/c, tell you where to live and so on. It's not about saving the planet from some imagined impending disaster, it's all about totalitarian control.

And I pity the fools that are falling for this.

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Rule 5 Sunday -- Double Trouble

tanya danielle

I haven't done one of these in a while so . . .

With print magazines on the decline and online 'zines and other content becoming overwhelming, what's a former Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler or other adult magazine/website model to do for income in the industry?

Well, there's always fetish modeling. And if you're moderately athletic and have a sense of fun about you, there are content providers like Double Trouble. A California based video company that produces fantasy type female wrestling matches. DT has a bevy of models that appear in their content, from veterans like Tanya Danielle to newcomers like Prinzess and even former hard-core porn stars like Misty Stone.

Whatever floats your boat, eh? Anyway, here's a few of their girls. Enjoy.

*click on the thumbnails for full-sized images*

karlie montanaprinzesscali logan andie valentinogeorgia jonestanya danielle andie valentinoceleste starmelissa jones

Rule 5 Sunday suggested by this.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

When Alyssa met Ted

alyssa milano gun control

So after a little Twitter back and forth where actress Alyssa Milano mentioned that she wanted to call congressman Ted Cruz out on his bullsh*t over the 2nd Amendment, the two got a chance to meet and Cruz live-streamed the meeting.

To give you a sense of exactly how serious Milano was about this meeting and how interested she was in an honest dialogue between opposing viewpoints on the myriad factors surrounding firearm violence and the complexities of dealing with the situation, here's an excerpt from Milano herself:
"Your stance has made you almost like this caricature of a villain, and that's why this meeting was so important for me, because I wanted to look at you in the eye and know that you're really a human with a heartbeat."
FFS! As they say on Twitter.

Milano's only purpose here was to attack Cruz with prepared insults that she could cap and post on her Twitter feed and also hopefully goad him into making some indefensible point about 2nd Amendment rights that she could also weaponize to attack law abiding citizens. Let's see . . . C grade actress versus Harvard debate champion? Yeah, that's not gonna go her way. Know what I mean?

But some interesting stuff did come out from this little get together. Milano tweeted the usual lies about 90% of Americans supporting stricter gun laws and the like. And she also proudly mentioned the fact that she has two firearms in her home for self protection.

Why is that important?

Milano has frequently mentioned via Twitter and other platforms her unwavering support for those with mental health issues, because she herself has mental health issues. She also has a long record on social media of behaving erratically and hysterically.

So, erratic public behavior? Check. Mental illness? Check. Multiple firearms in her possession and in the proximity to small children? Check. Milano is big time in favor of Red Flag Laws. Sounds to me like she should be the first person in line to be disarmed. Right? Think she'll have endless rationales for why a law she wants to apply to honest tax paying citizens shouldn't apply to her?

No doubt.