Sunday, August 30, 2015

The Royals -- they're just like you and me

Just because you're royalty, doesn't mean you don't need time away from the madding crowds to frolic in the surf. Royal sister Pippa Middleton is taking a much needed vacation (/sarc) from her hectic duties to vaca in St. Barth's:

pippa middleton bikini
pippa middleton bikini
pippa middleton bikini

Not to be disrespectful, but in the royal genetics pool, I think Kate got the booty genes and Pippa got the boob genes.

Fortunately for the Queen Mother, Pippa is not like the French Prime Minister's daughter -- Marie de Villepin:

marie de villepin topless
marie de villepin topless
marie de villepin topless

And while we don't have official royalty here in the U.S., we do have faux royalty like Paris Hilton. And the Brits aren't going to be outdone by us colonists. They have their own version of Paris -- Lady Victoria Hervey. Who, while sharing the same penchant for topless yachting, doesn't have Paris' enormous feet. But she does have the fattest ankles I've ever seen. What's up with that?

lady victoria hervey topless
lady victoria hervey topless
lady victoria hervey topless

Tove Lo still keepin' it classy on stage

tove lo

A few months back I brought you all what I thought might be a kinda sorta on purpose oopsey from singer Tove Lo. Guess this must be a regular feature of her shows:

tove lo topless
tove lo topless
tove lo topless

One way to appeal to a diversified audience I suppose -- guys, lesbians, and the gender fluid crowd.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Katie Holmes still workin' the white trash look for her movie

katie holmes all we had

On the set of her movie All We Had, Katie Holmes is still workin' the trailer park fabulous for all it's worth. I've had a bit of experience in this area, and if she wants to do it right, she needs to be rockin' the whale tail and a tramp stamp to get the look down tight.

Also, for the record, I'm not deliberately chosing images with weird looks on her faces. Blame the paps, these are what they are releasing, so I'm doing what I can with what I've got.

katie holmes all we had
katie holmes ass in jeans
katie holmes ass in jeans

Damn that Jared Fogle

molly shattuck

Normally this would be the sort of story you could have some fun with, but with effin' Fogle messing life up for everyone, I guess I should be a little fair handed here.

40ish Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader Molly Shattuck was arrested for performing a sex act on a minor, specifically she performed oral sex on a 15 year old boy. Shattuck will have to do 2 years of weekends in jail for the crime of making that kid a legend in his neighborhood.

Oops, I mean damaging that poor boy's self esteem and dooming him to a life of psychiatric care. They apparently caught Shattuck after the boy ratted her out to the authorities or his parents or someone.

I just don't know what to do with this. If a NFL cheerleader gave me a blow job when I was 15, I would have been BMOC for the next 3 years in high school. I guess the kid is traumatized. Or has a guilty conscience . . . I don't know. He's underage, so I doubt we'll get the full story about how/why this happened. This kind of stuff is sort of different for boys. I suppose it shouldn't be. I guess if she forced herself on him . . . ?!?! Where do you go with this?

So . . . shame on you Molly.

molly shattuck
molly shattuck
molly shattuck

Update:
According to Newsbusters, Shattuck is 48 and a former cheerleader for the Ravens. She's also a mother of three who used her own 15 year old son to broker the hook-up -- "call my mom, she thinks you're hot." Supposedly the victim in the case has become somber and untrusting of others because of a 48 year old cheerleader giving him head.

Maybe it's the age difference. I know how most boys behaved when I was 15 -- most of them were fantasizing about this exact situation. If the female in question had been 15 also, folks would have been screaming about the Romeo & Juliet law, saying it was just natural hormones.

So like I said, I really don't know where to go with this whole mess. But I know where Molly's going -- to two years worth of weekends in the slammer. Maybe she can be a cheerleader for the prison football team.

Random thought

If Bruce Jenner gets convicted of vehicular manslaughter and ends up being incarcerated for a year, will he go to a woman's prison or a man's? Since he's a pretend female now, and with the SJW's running pretty much everything now, I'm thinking he'll get sent to some female jail.

You know he's getting all moist just thinking about that. Every B-grade girls in prison movie from the 60's and 70's is probably running through his head every night when he puts on his lace nightie and crawls into bed. The prospect of a little Orange is the new Black action while he's in there has got to be driving him wild:

laura prepon nude

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Forbes biggest female moneymakers in Hollywood

So Forbes released their biggest money makers for 2015. Not sure how that works since we're only 8 months into the year. I suppose they project earnings. But here's the list and I found at least a couple of surprises:

image   No. 1
Jennifer Lawrence

$52 million
scarlett johansson nude   No. 2
Scarlett Johansson

$35.5 million
Jennifer aniston topless   No. 5
Jennifer Aniston

$16.5 million
Angelina jolie topless   No. 7
Angelina Jolie

$15 million
reese witherspoon topless   No. 8
Reese Witherspoon

$15 million
anne Hathaway topless   No. 9
Anne Hathaway

$12 million
Kristen stewart topless   No. 10
Kristen Stewart

$12 million
Cameron diaz topless   No. 11
Cameron Diaz

$11 million
Gwyneth paltrow nipples   No. 12
Gwyneth Paltrow

$9 million
image   No. 14
Amanda Seyfried

$8 million
Sandra bullock sort of naked   No. 15
Sandra Bullock

$8 million

So here's what jumped out at me -- Reese Witherspoon makes as much as Angelina Jolie? That seems odd to me. I don't put them in the same talent catagory at all. Gwyneth makes only a fraction of what JLaw makes, and that's with her Goopy website and all the other side stuff she does. Plus she's got that Avengers gig. WTF? And how the heck is Cameron Diaz on this list? Can you name a movie she's been in recently? Maybe that thing with Kate Upton a couple of years ago, but what is she doing to rake in the coin like this?

Hollywood may be the last accepted bastion of legitimate payroll disparity between men and women in this country. But still, these gals aren't exactly on the poverty line here.

Thinning the herd

Polk County (FL) Sheriff's department decided to reach out to Facebook users to find two wanted felons. Not sure why they thought the immoral crew that haunts social media these days would help law enforcement officials, but whatevs:

moron taunts police on facebook

Well, just to show what a master criminal he is (his evil criminal partner has already been caught), mister wanted here decided to taunt the cops on their own post:

moron taunts police on facebook
moron taunts police on facebook
moron taunts police on facebook

And this is where I invoke social Darwinism -- if this moron is stupid enough to think he can constantly upload stuff to Facebook and Twitter and not get tracked down, he's too stupid to be walking around free to begin with. Of course, he already has a mugshot, so you know he's no Lex Luthor.

The Sheriff's department didn't take these taunts lying down and provided some snark of their own in reply:

moron taunts police on facebook

Update:

Darwin is alive and living large as the moron is in custody. Logan Hale was picked up tonight by Sheriff's deputies and booked on armed burglary. The Pasco County Sheriff still had some snark in him as he updated their Facebook page with this little ditty -- "Logan Hale, you are on your way to jail. Your attempts to hide were to no avail. Epic fail"

Like I said -- too stupid to be walking around free in the first place. Enjoy the slammer, dumbass!